yahoo! maternity leave.

two months ago, yahoo! ceo marissa mayer
banned telecommuting at her company,
a move broadly perceived as anti-family,
as it eliminated much of the scheduling flexibility
that helps working parents — especially moms, of course –
succeed at both working & parenting.

today, ms. mayer has extended her company's maternity policy
to offer new moms 16 weeks of paid leave & new dads 8 weeks,
a move being touted as pro-family [fair enough] & which just about doubles
the amount of leave yahoo! employees have been getting.

http://www.takepart.com/article/2012/02/28/infographic-americas-moms-deserve-better

but.

the new yahoo! policy still isn't up to snuff with other silicon-valley competitors,
like facebook, which offers new moms four months of paid maternity leave
plus a $4k baby bonus [yahoo! provides $500 of baby money for 5+-year workers],
& google, which offers new moms 22 weeks of paid maternity leave.
& both offer the same benefits to same-sex couples.

on the other hand, microsoft gives new moms only 10 weeks of paid maternity leave,
& all of these firms waaay outpace most american companies,
which are mandated by the federal family & medical leave act to give only
17 weeks of UNpaid leave – & naturally, many new parents can't afford to take that.

http://womenandtech.com/infographic-paid-maternity-leave

america's lack of universal paid leave for new mothers
makes us one of only three countries not to offer it –
while 178 nations worldwide offer new moms paid maternity leave,
only swaziland, papua-new guinea & the u.s. don't.

according to working mother, only about half of all american first-time moms
get any paid leave at all. only about 20% of working moms get any leave with full pay.
& from 1998 to 2008, the percent of u.s. companies offering fully paid
maternity leave fell from 27% to 16%. so, it's getting worse, not better.

http://www.sodahead.com/living/public-opinion-supports-paid-maternity-leave-infographic/question-2295181

working mother is partnering with the national partnership for women & families
to make paid parental–maternity & paternity–leave universally available to u.s. workers
by 2015. click here to sign their online petition.

hooray, renée!

my dear friend renée trudeau
— life coach, author & balance facilitator —
has done it again.

her newly released book, nurturing the soul of your family:
10 ways to reconnect & find peace in everyday life,
clearly lights ten paths to experiencing greater ease,
flow & harmony amidst the daily navigation of
stressful commutes, homework squabbles, hurried mealtimes &
other challenges so many of us face as modern parents.

tomorrow, in conjunction with & celebration of
the first day of spring, renée is hosting a
book-release party like none other, a
"rejuvenating, joyful & connective evening of self-renewal,
storytelling, exercises & creative play"
based upon the book's themes.

here are the deets:
wednesday, march 20th, 6-9p
mercury hall @ 615 cardinal lane
austin, texas
tix will be $45 at the door

for the price of admission, participants get:
:: a two-hour self-renewal retreat led by renée;
:: wine + bevs with culinary delights by spoon & co. catering;
:: a private house concert by austin singer-songwriter tricia mitchell; &
:: an autographed copy of renée's new book.

a portion of the event's profits will go to benefit
the children in nature collaborative of austin.

for more info about the event —
which is sure to be both amazing & inspirational,
just like my dear friend renée —
click here.


image source: belief network.

powerful. pregnant. yahoo!

marissa mayer, the half-finnish daughter of
an art teacher & an engineer from wausau, wisconsin,
is now arguably america’s most powerful pregnant woman.

monday, 37yo mayer was named the new president & ceo of web giant yahoo!
tuesday, she revealed she’s pregnant with her first child, a baby boy, due in october.

prior to joining yahoo!,
she was employee #20 at google, & the company’s first girl engineer.
since 2010, mayer has been serving as vice president
of google’s local, locations & map services.
previously, she managed the company’s search team for over ten years.

huge kudos to mayer, who may be the
first-ever pregnant ceo of a fortune 500 tech company.
& huge kudos to yahoo! execs, who apparently were informed of her pregnancy
& didn’t let the term “delicate condition” be included in their decision-making.

mayer says she intends to work through only a handful of weeks of
maternity leave from home before returning to the workplace.

hmmm.

the reality is, mayer definitely has the resources
to actually follow through with her plan.
she has access to excellent childcare,
a schedule she sets herself,
a spouse with similar flexibility,
& tons of money.

but she still has literally a world of expectation on her professionally,
all the personal expectations – real, perceived & self-induced –
that naturally accompany motherhood,
a body full of chemical, hormonal & other physiological change,
& a little creature of love she’s going to want to be with all. the. time.

& how mayer deals with all that,
incidentally,
will send a socially significant message
about women & work & equality & america
& feminism & motherhood & life|work balance.

no pressure, marissa.

here’s hoping smart, hard-working, powerful, pregnant you
finds a way to build a better workplace for women;
finds a way to create a for-real family-friendly work culture,
with understanding & support, rather than judging & resentment;
finds a way to convince folks that pregnancy & parenthood
don’t diminish a woman’s worth in the workplace;
finds a way to help moms who don’t have the expansive resources you enjoy.

& here’s hoping new-mommy you
finds a way to spend as much time as
humanly possible sniffing the head
of that little creature of love.

because believe you me, yummybabyscalpscent is fleeting.


image source: latimes.com.

equal pay day.

just like tax day, it comes around each year,
& is always a little depressing.
equal pay day.

49 years ago, president john f. kennedy signed
the equal pay act of 1963.
today, women still must work until mid-april of this year
in order to earn what the average american male earned last year.
yep — today's the day we catch up with where the men were january 1st.

according to the latest u.s. census stats,
full-time working women earn 77 cents for every dollar earned by men.
& naturally, the gap is wider for women of color.

*heavy. sigh.*

ok. so, the better-than-nothing news is,
president obama has flagged equal pay as a priority.
in fact, in his 2012 state of the union address, the president said,
" ... an economy built to last is one where we encourage
the talent & ingenuity of every person in this country.
that means women should earn equal pay for equal work."

so, what is the president doing to walk that talk?

1) he created the equal pay task force.
since its creation two years ago, the eptf has helped:

:: increase enforcement actions;

:: increase recovered money for women seeking
their fair share for doing the same work as men;

:: increase outreach to employers & employees alike,
with rewarding results; &

:: make sure the full weight of the federal government
is centered on closing the gender pay gap for good.

2) the department of labor is gathering & distributing good pay-gap info.

:: a solution to the gender pay-gap problem has been difficult
in large part because access to essential information has been limited.
the equal pay app challenge invited software developers to use
publicly available data & resources to create applications that provide
— greater access to pay data, organized by gender, race & ethnicity,
— interactive tools for early career coaching or online mentoring, or
— data to help inform pay negotiations.
the winners of the challenge have been announced, &
soon, anyone with a smartphone, tablet or computer
will be able to easily access the info they need to make sure they're paid fairly.

:: the dol has also just published two new brochures
to educate employees regarding their rights &
to ensure employers understand their obligations
under existing equal-pay laws.

let's hope once more americans know better,
more americans will do better.
until then, tip your waitress an extra 23% today,
in "celebration" of equal pay day.


image source: fringepop.

desperately seeking: my groove.

do you ever feel all askew?

lately, it's like i can't get into a groove.

i can't sort things through.
i can't get stuff done.
i can't organize my thoughts or my stacks or my time.

despite all that, i also can't seem to get
enough sleep or enough produce or enough exercise.
i can't get around to my work projects or my creative practices.

i can't bring myself to bring up difficult issues,
even though it will help ease them.

i often feel overwhelmed . . .
& overcome with the fantasy of napping for a solid week.
i rarely feel impassioned or inspired to action
[i.e., so inspired that i must act].

is this depression? i'm already doing antidepressants.
is this hormones? i'm ten days late & not pregnant.
is this midlife? longtime marriage + motherhood = bleh??

i feel like i've got a crowd of elephants
just milling about me all the time,
shuffling their giant-toenailed feet & vaguely swinging their trunks.

following me from room to room,
from school to grocery store to doctor's appointment to client meeting,
some connected tail-to-trunk, but others just free-roaming.

sometimes, i can coax two or three of them into some sort of orderly position,
but as soon as i begin to move the next one over to its spot,
one of them wanders off again, & soon i'm once again surrounded by
the world's most aimless, lumbering & pungent cocktail-party participants.

& so, i am askew. off-center. off-track.
& not sure how to get to "flow" again.

mama wants her groove back.

ideas? please, share 'em if you've got 'em.


image source: eadweard muybridge.

claus with pause.

in the spirit of celebrating the season
[rather than preparing for a season to celebrate a day],
i settled in this first monday morning of december
& put together a list [yes, another list!]
of how i intend to spend this holiday,
as inspired by my favorite life balance guru & dear friend
renée trudeau.
[read her original, inspiring e-newsletter.]

renée suggests some themes for a new way of experiencing the holidays;
they all sounded delicious to me, so
i created an intentional sampler for the season
to help me celebrate with savor . . .

i'm calling my 2011 holiday plan [wait for it . . . ]
"claus with pause."

here's what i want for christmas
[oh, & some material stuff, too, of course!]:

:: unscheduled time — for napping, walking, yoga-ing.

:: creative expression — via decor, food, gifts.

:: spiritual practice — via gratitude, music, being out in nature.

:: abundant giving — of money, blankets & toys.

:: family connection — by expressing affection, appreciation & lightness.

how about you?
how do you want to experience the holidays?
& how do you plan to get there from here?


image source: yvi`s torten & tortenfiguren @ flickr.com.

say yes, say no.

so, i'm currently enrolled in & enjoying
a four-week telecourse with my dear friend,
author & life balance coach renée trudeau.

it's called a new way of being —
let go, embrace flow & love your life.

sounds amazing, yes? oh, yes.

yet, i'm realistic. i realize four hour-long conference calls,
a handful of emessages & a facebook group
aren't going to magically transform my life
or transport me into a new way of living it.

still, it's providing me with refreshed perspective,
some aha! insights, & many tasty concepts for my
spirit, intellect & psyche to chew on.

for example, during our latest class/call,
renée mentioned, as her new way of being,
things she was saying "yes" to
& others she was saying "no" to.

inspired, i put together my oui/non list du jour:

today, i say yes to
:: the fall weather front
:: morning minutes
:: following my gut for my girl
:: being softer & more structured simultaneously
:: pacing myself
:: a poncho-like sweater
:: a pedicure
:: approaching the holidays
:: three days of single parenthood
:: a glass of wine
:: scrapbooking
:: breathing
:: healing
:: abundance
:: love.

today, i say no to
:: humidity
:: contempt
:: hardness & harshness
:: resentment
:: scrambling to keep up
:: homework over sleep
:: mirror abuse
:: the why's of what's not working
:: worries about the past or the future
:: operating from fear.

so, what are you saying yes or no to today??


image source: newwayofbeing.net.

finding contentment in imperfection.

on friday, in petaluma, california,
at the 23rd annual sonoma-marin fair's
world's ugliest dog contest,
the $1,000 top prize went to
a 14yo female chinese-crested chihuahua mix
owned by terry schumacher of hanford, ca.

her name is yoda.
& ugly she is, yes.

but she reminded me of a phrase
i came across earlier this week
& just jotted down on a post-it:

finding contentment in imperfection.

yoda probably doesn't know she's ugly,
or if she does, then not how ugly,
& regardless, to her, it's just not important.

what matters to her is that
she has food,
she has a home,
she has a family,
& she has love.

& however flawed her body & face may be,
they have gotten her to the ripe old doggie age of
14 years = almost 100 in human years,

& have let her keep on
gobbling up bowlfuls of satisfying meatiness,
napping in her favorite sunshine-warmed spots,
snuffling in the aromas of life all around her,
& snuggling up cozily with her loved ones.

she is practically the picture of imperfection.
yet she is a dog, so contentment is hers.

go, yoda.
show the world how
contentment in imperfection is found,
yes.


image source: justin sullivan/getty images.

hello, monday.

hello, monday morning.

hello, springtime weather.
hello, gorgeous.
hello, may's second act.

hello, summer, just around the corner.

hello, crazy camp calendar.
hello, sno-cones.
hello, summertime list.

hello, a dozen days of school left.
hello, classroom parties.
hello, teacher gifts.

hello, bookstore giftcards.
hello, special snapsots.
hello, butterfly poem.

hello, darling puppy on my foot.
hello, sneezing hound on the mend.
hello, three-dog nights again.

hello, purged playroom.
hello, clean little boy's room.
hello, refreshed front porch.

hello, work.
hello, transcription.
hello, procrastination be gone.

hello, clean house.
hello, healthy body.
hello, snazzy snax.
hello, dance.
hello, saturday night.
hello, 16th anniversary.

hello, full, beautiful life.
hello, love.


so, what are you saying hello to this fine may day??


image source: dreamland.

dreamy slash sensible.

"borrowing" a great idea today
from a favorite bloggeress –
mary beth over at salt & chocolate.

she calls them dreamy/practical lists.
but just to avoid litigation,
i'm going to call mine a dreamy|sensible list.
derivative? sure. plagiarism? nope.

anyway, mary beth seems like an awfully sweet person
on her blog, so i'm sure she'll understand
imitation is the truest type of flattery &
she won't mind even a dibble.

so, what is a dreamy|sensible list?
it's a lovely way to create a to-do list
that balances stuff you want to do [fills your cup]
with things you need to do [drains your bucket].

[following my cryptic liquid-transference metaphor yet?]

if you're like me, then your to-do lists tend to
overflow with need-to-do items . . .

daily chores to complete.
household projects to tackle.
work next-steps to take.
emails to send.
calls to make.
appointments to schedule.
errands to run.
items to buy.
bills to pay.
paperwork to deal with.

you know the drill. & this list – the "sensible" list –
is about as delightful as said drill.
it's an abyss of a list, all have-to's & shoulds,
that can wear you down with its
relentlessly self-perpetuating nature.

can i get an amen?

but, if you're like me, almost nothing gets done –
no matter how well-intentioned you may be about doing it –
if it doesn't make the cut onto the to-do list.

& since fun, creative, playful stuff
isn't what we traditionally put onto our to-do lists,
then it rarely, if ever, gets done.

again, an alleluia?

doesn't exactly promote the whole balance concept, does it??

well, hello, dreamy list.

here's the dreamy-list deal:

rather than creating a single list
for the day, week or weekend,
try creating a pair of side-by-side lists,
one sensible, one dreamy.

[being me, i try to include an equal number
of items on each list.]

now, get-er-doners, red pens at the ready . . .
& check off!!

[again, being me, i try to alternate
back & forth between the two lists.]

for example, here's my dreamy|sensible list over last weekend:

dreamy
:: get sno-cones @ bahama freeze.
:: go to the pool.
:: go to the movies, see "rio."
:: easter!
:: austin pets alive! site visit – walk pups @ petsmart.
:: finish letter to big girl in our mother/daughter journal.
:: read magazines/book.

sensible
:: purge playroom.
:: purge playroom.
:: purge playroom [no joke – a HUGE project, definitely three items' worth].
:: do laundry.
:: go to target.
:: update finances on mint.
:: strong week prep [calendar, paperwork, plan].

full disclosure:
i didn't get around to two dreamy items &
didn't complete one sensible item,
but still . . .

a fairly balanced weekend overall.
& it was good.

thank you for the inspiration, mary beth!!


image source: the escapist.

i'm baaack.

[our newly created seasonal shelf reflecting autumn, 12.1.2010]

just in case
your december has been too full
to note it,
i've been gone.

gone from the blog.

i didn't plan my bloggy absence.
it just sort of happened, amid
the fullness of december.

full of joy. full of light. full of song.
full of giving. full of toasting. full of twinkling.
just plain full.

so now, as we roll [almost literally] into the new year,
the fullness of december is finally ebbing
& the blog returns to room of its own.

so here i am. again!

i thought i'd begin [again] by sharing
three of our family's december traditions.

1. our advent calendar. our advent calendar is no family heirloom, but it does remind me of the one my grandmother made & we used growing up. bought at hallmark [full disclosure: i'm wholly hooked on hallmark, especially around the holidays], ours is super-simple, made of felt with little ornaments that stick on with magnets. the kids argue annually over who gets to stick up december 1 & who gets to stick december 25 up. with no treats to be gleaned, the magic of our advent calendar is all in the countdown. oh, & the star on top plays "jingle bells." gotta love the jingle.

2. jefferey, our house elf. jefferey comes to us direct from the north pole every december 1 to enhance the celebratory environment of our home & observe our family. each night, he returns to the north pole & reports to the big guy on how we're doing; then, when he returns to our house, he perches himself in a new spot, to be searched for & rediscovered each morning. sadly, jefferey hitches a ride with santa come christmas eve to return to his snowy home for another 11+ months. we miss him, but realize not everyone gets the honor of hosting a house elf, so we feel blessed by his presence during his yearly 24-day stay.

3. my christmas-tree pins. i'm not sure which year i decided to begin collecting pins shaped like christmas trees, but it's probably been a decade or more. i've got just about 50 tannenbaum brooches now － from plain silver to multi-hued swarovski crystal-laden － so i don a different one every day of december. i guess maybe i'll go for a final collection of 62, so i can do a full rotation every other year ... though it's getting more & more challenging to find christmas-tree pins that are different from those i've already got & also attractive [the world is chocked full o' ugly holiday jewelry, believe you me].

so, do you have daily traditions for the month of december? do share.


image source: all me, 12.2010.

'tis the season.

on one hand, i,
like you, i suspect,
loathe when it
begins to look a lot
like christmas
even before hallowe'en.

on the other hand,
i much prefer to
get a jump on the holidays earlier
rather than
have the holidays
jumping up & down on my skull later.

which is how i became
a christmas binder person.

yep. each year about this time
i begin putting my binder together,
complete with tabbed & pocketed dividers
[this week | priorities | gifts | home |
eats | cards | traditions | new year]
& printable forms to complete,
courtesy of my christmas binder guru,
cynthia ewer of organizedchristmas.com.

i discovered the "oc" about five years ago,
& began following ewer's christmas countdown plan.
the countdown begins six weeks before december 1,
& ends on 12.1, in order to give you the whole
month of december to just enjoy the holiday season
[or, in my case, to give me the whole
month of december to complete the countdown stuff
i haven't quite gotten around to just yet].

over the years, i've shaped the countdown
to fit my family's holiday
[gift closet inventory? yes.
"black friday" holiday sales planner? uh, no.],
but i still follow the basic countdown.

each week has a theme －
get organized | reality check | gifts & giving |
get cooking | decorate | celebrate －
with accompanying checklists, printable forms
& tip-filled, thought-provoking articles to read.

the site is delightfully comprehensive,
which is one of my favorite things about it －
stuff doesn't slip through the cracks of
i-can't-remember-everything-with-these-
jingle-bells-ringing-in-my-ears ...

& my other favorite thing about
organizedchristmas.com?
it's *f.r.e.e.*
yep, checklists, forms, articles －
the whole holiday tamale
is available for the sampling,
&, if you likey, then help yourself
to the santa-fied organizational smorgasbord.

so, how do you keep it all organized during
the most wonderful time of the year?
& if your answer is some sort of snort
of preposterocity, then you might want to
join me, &
embrace the binder.

think pink:
paul ecke ranch & north carolina state university's horticulture department are working together to develop a pink poinsettia which will bloom earlier in the season － in october rather than december － to help honor & promote breast-cancer awareness month. click here to read all about it.


image sources: the container store, nature & flower wallpaper

tgiw.

it's midweek . . .
& i'm feeling the need for a little
trust | gratitude | inspiration

a la brene brown,
in celebration of the publication of her latest book,
the gifts of imperfection.

i'm trusting of the universe's infinite wisdom,

& whatever happens is what should happen.

i'm grateful for new opportunities, incredible
friends, & ceiling fans out on our porches.

i'm inspired by the myriad mama bloggers
out here in cyberspace . . . it seems i discover new
amazing women telling their stories online
every day.

happy hump day, all!! :)


image source: stacy julian & her porch.

what a week.

it's been back-to-school week here in austin.
it's also been the worst of our summertime weather to date.

yesterday, it hit a record 107 degrees F. zoinks.
recess is hell ... almost literally.

searing heat aside, it's been an energy-zapping week.

big girl began middle school.
little boy began a new elementary school.

kids full of dread, unsureness, worry.
mama full of conflict, sadness, worry.

of course, five days, a handful of crying jags,
about a hundred school supplies
& thousands of deep breaths later,
we're all ok.

still standing.
but ready for a rest.

one chill weekend, coming up.

meanwhile, for the mamas like me
who feel maybe they've earned another
epaulet or badge or other sort of insignia
on their invisible superwoman uniforms

recently, here's a reminder of the
essential importance of not necessarily
making the world safe for mankind,
but of just making your children's world
a little more manageable for them:

"changing the world is good for those

who want their names in books. but

being happy is for those who write their names

in the lives of others, & hold the hearts of others

as the treasure most dear.”

~ orson scott card ~

image source: life photo archive via google

2,200.

the number of miles
our little family drove
over nine days
during our first big road trip.

austin to santa fe
& home again
[home again, jiggity jig].

up to taos to hike & lunch
with llamas ["yah-mahs"].

down to albuquerque to ride
the world's longest aerial tram
& hike to the crest of sandia peak.

along a piece of the rio grande
for a little river rafting &
teensy-weensy toad catching.

a couple of impressive churches.
a couple of beautiful museums.
about a dozen quesadillas.

the plaza. turquoise. kokopelli.

& crystal mesa farm.
lovely. home of ...
donkeys [duke, trooper, puff &
the rowdy girls].
goats. sheep.
geese. ducks.
chickens & a new-found rooster.
a pig in a pigloo.
& olive,
the world's happiest
golden retriever.

far-off coyotes.
close-up snakes.

& the wonderful willey family.
marie, walt, chance & merit,
a thousand thanks.

& all that was just NM.

the road trip?
its own fun.

roswell. rattlesnakes.
paisano pete, the world's largest roadrunner.
old pete, muleshoe's life-size mascot.
the skunk trio of prairie dog town.
the goliath wind farms of big spring.

mad libs. audio books. traveling music.
a big honkin' speeding ticket [zoinks].
wally the worm. his theme song.

& the ghost of spongebob squarepants
at the schlotzsky's in lubbock.

overall, a terrific success. :)

here's my trip haiku:

new mexico road trip.
summer driving, adventure.
llamas were the best.


image source: ozzu webmaster forum

cleanliness: next to ... ??

it seems to me my blog posts for july have been rather self-indulgent.
but, hey － it's a blog. self-indulgence is the nature of the beast, yes?

& july is my birthmonth, so i tend toward hyper-reflectiveness [oooo, shiny!],
pondering just where i am, how i am, who i am,
etc.
as another number clicks by.

but, before july is over, i'd like to offer a little insight
into a challenge all of us face at one time or another:

housekeeping.

recently read a whole living article
about making peace with the daily drudge of cleaning.

some thought-provoking thoughts on
taking a different approach to
scrubbing toilets, washing dishes, folding laundry,
[these are a few of my unfavoritest things] etc.

"what if i were able to slow down & treat housework as if it mattered? i'm thinking of that zen proverb: 'before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.' the idea is that we should find meaning in ordinary tasks, because true clarity is fleeting enough － & when it's over, somebody still has to clean the crisper.

"'there is no meaning in chores. the expectation of meaning is what robs life of greater meaning. ... when we expect things to be more than they are, or when we value them as less than they are, that keeps us at arm's length from our own life,' [author karen maezen] miller says. 'when we're really present in every moment, even when we're vacuuming, we can begin to chip away at the feeling of inadequacy. and little by little, our lives are transformed. ... here's the magic soap,' she says. 'your own attention is what spiritualizes things. attention to the meal you cook, the clothes you wash. attention is love. and that's transformative.'

"i'll never love it, but i can say this: cleaning changes things. so much in life is uncertain － you take vitamins & get sick, love people who disappoint you, pour your heart into a job & lose it at the end of the fiscal year. but if you take a rag to a piece of soap scum, it will go away. from that point of view － the pure continuum of cause & effect － cleaning stops seeming futile."

& begins to seem － dare i type it? － spiritual?


image source: wholeliving.com

mantras to declutter by.

maybe you've heard tell of lorie marrero,
our own austin-based professional organizer
who has hit the big-time with her brainchild,
the clutter diet.

she's terrific － visit her website here, her blog here & her twitter page here.

recently, lorie posted about "the organized mindset: 7 fundamental beliefs that can change everything."

being a person who's forever interested in enhancing organization in my rather full life, i read the post.

& let me tell you, it's about way more than decluttering.

lorie says these key beliefs can up your quality of life, & i believe her.

i, for one, intend to write one down on an index card every month for the rest of the year, tape it up on my bathroom mirror, & repeat it daily as a mantra to myself.

i strongly urge to you dive into this wise woman's deep pool of online info.
here's just a toe-dip － the seven aforementioned beliefs:

1. It’s okay to let go. I cannot own everything, do everything, or know everything. I will be okay letting go of some things, some activities, and some knowledge. I have an abundant life, and I have Enough with a capital “E.” I have to give up some things to gain others.

2. It’s okay if things are not perfect. I can relax into life and focus on what is most important to me. I am clear on what really matters, and “Good Enough” is really good enough.

3. It’s okay for me to place a high value on my time. Time is absolutely my most valuable resource. I am the only one who gets to ultimately decide how to spend it, and it’s okay to be very selective and discerning. Sometimes time is worth more than money.

4. It’s okay to make mistakes. I make the best decisions I can at the time with the information I have. I will move forward with my decisions and reduce the time I spend questioning them. Mistakes help me learn beneficial lessons.

5. It’s okay to want the best for myself. I am fully responsible for my own life experience. I treat myself kindly, and I want to constantly improve myself, my life, my surroundings, and my relationships. Sometimes this means saying goodbye to things, people, activities, interests, and commitments that are no longer serving me.

6. It’s okay if I don’t have all of the answers. I am strong and capable and can figure things out. I value learning and am a resourceful person, and I am open to being wrong.

7. It’s okay that I am not good at everything. I am good at many things but not all. I can focus on my strengths and ask for help to allow others to use their strengths on my behalf.

thank you, ms. marrero!! :)


image source: photo not of lorie marrero, but by brene brown for tracey clark's i am enough self-kindness collaborative

guest bloggin'.

i'm a guest blogger today over at createabalance.com!

the post is all about dating ourselves ...
& has nothing to do with aging.

happy sunday! :)

slice of life with seven-year-old boy.

Evening. I'm in my home office, on the phone.

My 7yo son walks in, holding a pair of brown fleece sweatpants in one hand. His expression is beseeching － he clearly wants to ask or tell me something, but knows the rule: Don't talk to Mommy while she's talking on the phone.

He begins to gesticulate with his free hand, drawing huge, backward letters in the air, and stretching his little mouth every which way as he silently articulates his urgent message.

I've no clue what he's so desperately trying to get across. I shrug my shoulders, shake my head a little and point to the phone － I'm on the phone. Don't interrupt.

But he's determined to try, try again. His gestures grow even wilder, his mouth distorts even further. His blue eyes are wide, pleading, as he waves the pants around in the air.

He's not giving up. Finally, I surrender.

"I'm sorry, can you hold on just a minute?" I ask my friend. "What is it?" I hiss at my little boy.

"I just want to know whether these pants are clean for St. Patrick's Day," he says with relief.

St. Patrick's Day is over a week away. The pants are brown.

"Yes, those are clean. But ... "

"Thank you!" he sings as he skips off to the living room.

I laugh at his emotional extremes and his utter randomness ... and return to my logical, grownup, boring-ass conversation.

Love him. Love my life. Lucky me. :)


image source: dianemiller.net

life lesson from fgotus to flotus.

When it comes to ensuring your own happiness, First Grandmother Of The United States Marian Robinson was a good example for her daughter, Michelle Obama － of what not to do.

"She said being a good mother isn't all about sacrificing," says the First Lady. "It's really investing and putting yourself higher up on your priority list." Obama says Mrs. Robinson put her own two children first, sometimes to her own detriment.

"She encouraged me not to do that," says Obama.

The First Lady says women should do what makes them happy, because if mama is happy, then everybody's happy.

"I've learned to make choices that make me happy," says Obama. "I've freed myself to put me on the priority list and say, 'Yes, I can make choices that make me happy, and it will ripple and benefit my kids, my husband and my physical health. That's hard for women to own. We're not taught to do that, but it's a lesson I want to teach my girls."


image source: comite des amis lyonnais de barack obama