lupita!!

this week, people magazine made oscar-winning actress
lupita nyong'o the cover girl for its annual 50 most beautiful issue.

she may not be the first person of color to hold this particular honor,
but she's definitely the first person of this particular color.

"what is fundamentally beautiful is compassion for yourself & for those around you,”
nyong'o said early this year. "that kind of beauty enflames the heart and enchants the soul.

“i hope my presence on your screens & in the magazines may lead you, young girl,
on a similar journey [as mine], that you will feel the validation of your external beauty,
but also get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside.
there is no shade to that beauty."

i hope ms. nyong'o knows it is not only young girls of dark beauty
whom she inspires. this middle-age white mama is moved by her, too.

earth day poem. yes.

happy earth day, y'all.
i made this at instant hai-
ku generator.

:)

unequal pay = cray cray.

today, two days beyond [un]equal pay day, musician pharrell williams of "happy" fame
sat with one of my personal heroes, ellen degeneres, & talked about
why he named his latest album "G I R L".

the predictable reason? he likes women. well, duh.
the not-as-expected reason? he's fed up with gender inequality.

"still to this day, what is it – like 73 cents to a man’s dollar?
what is that?
the last i heard, the whole reason this entire species can come into existence
is through the portal of a woman’s body."

ok, who loves pharrell? mmhmm – raise those hands up high, ladies.

seriously, it's 2014. are we really still debating
the appropriateness of equal pay for equal work?

yes. yes, we are.

because these, ladies & gentlemen – & especially the gentlemen:
heads up, please – are the facts:

:: women must work about 60 extra days to earn
as much as men did by the previous year's end.

:: the pay gap – women's 77 cents to every man's dollar – hasn't improved since 2002.

:: at our current pace of progress, we can expect pay equity around 2058.

:: the average american woman loses $431,000 over the course
of her career due to the pay gap.

:: the u.s. is ranked #23 globally in terms of gender equality
[which includes pay equity]. burundi is #22.

:: thanks to u.s. senate republicans, the paycheck fairness act is still not law.

as president obama says in response to those who claim pay equity is a "non-issue,"
"it's not a myth. it's math."

& it's not a women's issue, either. it's an issue about the american family.
because how many working women are working mothers, their paychecks going
to help house, feed, clothe, keep healthy, educate & otherwise support their children,
who, incidentally, will be the future of our country? most of them.

again, the inspirational president of these united states:

"the time has passed for us to recognize that
what determines success should not be our gender,
but rather our talent, our drive & the strength of our contributions.
so, today, let us breathe new life into our founding ideals.
let us march toward a day when, in the land of liberty & opportunity,
there are no limits on our daughters' dreams &
no glass ceilings on the value of their work."

amen, mr. president. you & pharrell go get 'em.


p.s. my new mantra: my body is a portal of life.

call me point b.

if i should have a daughter, instead of “mom,” she’s going to call me, “point b.”
because that way, she knows that no matter what happens,
at least she can always find her way to me.

& i’m going to paint the solar systems on the backs of her hands, so she has to learn
the entire universe before she can say, “oh, i know that like the back of my hand.”
& she’s going to learn that this life will hit you, hard, in the face,
wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach.
but getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs
how much they like the taste of air.

there is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by bandaids or poetry,
so the first time she realizes that wonder woman isn’t coming,
i’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself.
because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers,
your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal.
believe me, i’ve tried.

“and baby,” i’ll tell her, “don’t keep your nose up in the air like that.
i know that trick. i’ve done it a million times. you’re just smelling for smoke
so you can follow the trail back to a burning house, so you can find the boy
who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. or else, find the boy
who lit the fire in the first place, to see if you can change him.”
but i know she will anyway, so instead, i’ll always keep an extra supply
of chocolate & rainboots nearby.
because there’s no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix.

okay, there’s a few heartbreaks that chocolate can’t fix.
but that’s what the rainboots are for. because rain will wash away everything if you let it.

i want her to look at the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat.
to look through a microscope at the galaxies that exist on the pinpoint of a human mind.
because that’s the way my mom taught me. that there’ll be days like this,
“there’ll be days like this,” my mama said.
when you open your hands to catch & wind up with only blisters & bruises.
when you step out of the phone booth & try to fly,
& the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape.
when your boots will fill with rain, & you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment,
& those are the very days you have all the more reason to say, “thank you.”
because there’s nothing more beautiful
than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline,
no matter how many times it’s sent away.

you will put the “wind” in “winsome… lose some.”
you will put the “star” in “starting over… & over…”
& no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute,
be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

& yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting, i am pretty damn naive.
but i want her to know that this world is made out of sugar.
it can crumble so easily, but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out & taste it.

“baby,” i’ll tell her, “remember, your mama is a worrier, & your papa is a warrior,
& you are the girl with small hands & big eyes who never stops asking for more.
remember that good things come in threes, & so do bad things,
& always apologize when you’ve done something wrong.
but don’t you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining.
your voice is small, but don’t ever stop singing.
& when they finally hand you heartache, when they slip war & hatred under your door
& offer you handouts on street corners of cynicism & defeat,
you tell them that they really
ought to meet your mother.”


sarah kay is a spoken word poet – half-japanese, half-jewish, all new york. & 100% amazing.

this performance was the opener of her talk at the 2011 ted conference.
click here for the whole talk
[it's only about 20 minutes & includes another poem performance.]

happy birthday, ms.

happy happy birthday to my fellow feminist + writer, ms. gloria steinem.

she turns 80yo today, & i must say, if this is what being an octogenarian
looks like, then i'm happy to be over halfway there!

she is spending her birthday riding elephants in botswana.
seriously – isn't that how we all want to spend our 80th?

inspirational as ever, ms. s.
cheers to you – keep on keepin' on!

"the truth will set you free,
but first it will piss you off."

"i have yet to hear a man ask for advice
on how to combine marriage and a career."

"writing is the only thing that, when i do it,
i don't feel i should be doing something else."

"like art, revolutions come from
combining what exists into
what has never existed before."

"we've begun to raise daughters more like sons;
but few have the courage to raise our sons
more like our daughters."

"i'm keeping my torch, thank you –
& i am using it to light the torches of others."

"the future depends entirely on
what each of us does every day;
a movement is only people moving.
to feel its warmth and motion around us
is the end as well as the means."

"a feminist is anyone who recognizes
the equality and full humanity
of women and men."

real-world princesses.

as a final frozen followup & in celebration of international women's day today,
i offer a sampling of award-winning artist david trumble's prototype
for disney's "world of women" collection:

ten real-world princesses who sparkle all on their own:

equality princess rosa parks.

jungle princess jane goodall.

trailblazer princess gloria steinem.

princess 2016 hillary clinton.

defiant princess malala yousafzai.

to view the rest of the potential collection, just click here.

i definitely think i'd begin my collection with the defiant princess malala ...
which one is your favorite? & what other women do you believe belong in this collection?

no girls allowed. [yet.]

someone has created a great blog called boys clubs,
which is working to shine a light into the
"corners of the world where women have yet to tread."

just begun april 14th, the blog has already
noted some rather fascinating 100%-men groups & categories.
a sampling:

[unsurprising]
:: the fbi's ten most wanted, everyone wanted for terrorism,
crimes against children & cyber crimes.
:: everybody in charge of guantanamo bay.
:: current leaders of the national rifle association.

[sort of surprising]
:: all executive leadership at apple, inc.
:: all contributors to the freakonomics blog.
:: all committee chairs for this year's clio awards for advertising.
:: everyone to lead the international olympic committee ever.
:: everyone to play new york comedy festival.
:: the 2012-13 officers, board of governors & dog show committee
of the westminster kennel club.
:: every u.s. senate majority leader, minority leader,
majority whip & minority whip ever.
:: every person on a u.s. banknote ever.
:: groupon's senior management team.

[equal-opportunity]
:: the papal conclave [not to be confused with the paypal mafia,
also all-male].
:: the leadership of the mormon church.
:: the world’s 40 richest jews, according to forbes israel.
:: all incarnations of the Dalai Lama ever.


image source: mormondialogue.org.

secret no more.

a week ago, an infamously thick glass ceiling was shattered
with president obama's selection of veteran agent julia pierson
as director of the u.s. secret service.

pierson is the agency's 23rd director & its first woman leader.
the key responsibilities of the secret service are protecting the president,
& investigating counterfeiting & fraud.

a native of orlando, pierson was an explorer with
the boy [yes, boy] scouts of america,
in a post chartered by the orlando police department
specializing in law enforcement.

she earned her degree in criminal justice
at the university of central florida,
& became one of the first women to serve
as an opd patrol officer.

pierson joined the u.s. secret service in 1983 as a special agent
& has steadily climbed the ranks of the agency,
serving on the presidential protective details of
both presidents bush, as well as president bill clinton.

since 2008, she has served as the secret service's chief of staff &
assistant director of the office of human resources & training —
already the agency's highest-ranking woman.

president obama chose pierson as the woman for the job
following criticism that his second-term picks for high-level posts
have not been diverse enough, & criticism that the secret service's
notoriously male-dominant culture has gotten out of hand.

a year ago, the agency's reputation was sullied when
several secret-service agents took prostitutes to their hotel rooms
during preparation for the president's visit to cartagena, colombia.
in all, 13 agents & officers were caught up in the scandal.

pierson — who as a high-schooler worked at disney world
as a parking & watercraft attendant, as well as in costume
in park parades — is now tasked with turning
her agency's fratboy image around.

it's no secret that this woman — whom her colleagues call
smart, experienced & even-keeled — is up for the job.


image source: www.heavy.com.

hey, pope francis . . .

i'm not catholic [thank god].

but i love the concept of patron saints,
good guys [+ gals!] turned super-specific guardian angels,
available at a prayer's notice to help a believer out
with anything from girl scouts to lumbago.

lately, my work flow has been awfully, painfully s . l . o . w.
like, leech-like-money-bleed slow.
& candidly, i'm just about drained dry.

so, today i'm calling upon a sainted trifecta:
nicholas [patron saint of money problems];
cajetan [patron saint of job seekers]; &
john the baptist [patron saint of prosperity],
to send mama some good money-making opportunity.

& while i wait for my prayers to be answered,
i'll send up one more prayer, one of gratitude
that i don't live in one of the ten worst-paying u.s. cities for women.

for the past five years, the u.s. pay gap has remained
essentially unchanged: women earn not quite 79% of what men earn on average,
which comes out to an annual difference of about $10,000 less.

based upon a review of america's 100 most populous metro areas,
24/7 wall st. has identified the top ten worst-paying cities for women.

24/7 wall st. compared the median earnings for the past 12 months
of both men & women working full-time, year-round in the country's
100 largest metropolitan statistical areas, based on u.s. census bureau data.

& i'm seriously relieved to reveal texas has no cities in the top bottom ten.
can i get a yeehaw, y'all?!?

the winner biggest loser [spoiler alert!] was provo-orem, utah,
where being a homeschooling mom apparently pays better than professional employment.
women there earn not quite 62% of what men earn,
which calculates to just about $20k less a year.

*sigh.*

here's the rest of the list of cities not to go to for a self-value lift, ladies:

2. ogden-clearfield, utah [women earn 65 cents for each dollar men earn]
3. lancaster, pennsylvania [almost 69 cents]
4. baton rouge, louisiana [69 cents]
5. palm bay-melbourne-titusville, florida [almost 70 cents]
6. colorado springs, colorado [70.5 cents]
7. wichita, kansas [almost 72 cents]
8. bridgeport-stamford, connecticut [72 cents]
9. tulsa, oklahoma [almost 73 cents]
10. seattle-tacoma-bellevue, washington [73 cents]

& again, i'm pleasantly puzzled by the scarcity of southern states represented here.

now i'm wondering how "we" get a patron saint of women's rights named? hmmmm . . .


image source: mary's prayers @ etsy.com.

celebrate a woman.

what happens on a mama blog
when international women's day
happens during spring break . . .

we honor! we celebrate! we sing! just a dozen days later.

a pair of iwd items i must share,
both courtesy of the huffington post:

she's the reason:

a call to honor the unsung women who have helped shape us,
the ones who changed our life path in some essential way,
who made an important difference for us with their
presence, words, works, kindness or example, but might not know it.

huffpost requested readers to submit their "she's the reason"
stories via email & twitter for future publication up on the website.

but i'm going to go much more personal with mine.
this month, i will write a personal note to three such women in my life
to let them know they're the reason for something i cherish . . . & thank them for it.

wouldn't it be amazing to receive a letter like that? i think so, too.

one woman, y'all:

25 songstresses from 20 countries around the world
come together to sing a song of solidarity.
"one woman" was written for un women,
the international organization for women's rights.

it's beautiful & moving & available for download internationally:




image source: brazilian artiste bebel gilberto.

hooray, renée!

my dear friend renée trudeau
— life coach, author & balance facilitator —
has done it again.

her newly released book, nurturing the soul of your family:
10 ways to reconnect & find peace in everyday life,
clearly lights ten paths to experiencing greater ease,
flow & harmony amidst the daily navigation of
stressful commutes, homework squabbles, hurried mealtimes &
other challenges so many of us face as modern parents.

tomorrow, in conjunction with & celebration of
the first day of spring, renée is hosting a
book-release party like none other, a
"rejuvenating, joyful & connective evening of self-renewal,
storytelling, exercises & creative play"
based upon the book's themes.

here are the deets:
wednesday, march 20th, 6-9p
mercury hall @ 615 cardinal lane
austin, texas
tix will be $45 at the door

for the price of admission, participants get:
:: a two-hour self-renewal retreat led by renée;
:: wine + bevs with culinary delights by spoon & co. catering;
:: a private house concert by austin singer-songwriter tricia mitchell; &
:: an autographed copy of renée's new book.

a portion of the event's profits will go to benefit
the children in nature collaborative of austin.

for more info about the event —
which is sure to be both amazing & inspirational,
just like my dear friend renée —
click here.


image source: belief network.

vawa-lleluia.

american women need no longer wait to exhale.

the violence against women act [vawa] has finally been approved by congress
& is off to the president for his stamp of approval.

first passed in 1994
& readily renewed in 200 & 2005,
congress has failed to reauthorize the law
since it expired in october 2011.

so, following 500 days of delay,
the u.s. house of representatives finally voted 286 to 138
to pass the bipartisan senate version of the bill.
all house democrats & 87 house republicans voted 'yea.'

the approving vote immediately followed a rejecting vote
by the house of its own republican version of the measure.
the house bill was voted down 166 to 257,
with no democrats & 60 republicans voting 'nay.'

which is a good thing.

because the proposed house bill would have
stripped protections for lgbt survivors of abuse,
not granted tribal courts new authority in some domestic violence cases,
& added new visa eligibility restrictions for abused immigrant women.

it also omitted two separate measures attached to the act: the safer act,
which helps law enforcement deal with a backlog of untested rape kits;
& the trafficking victims protection reauthorization act,
which targets human trafficking.

now, vawa will be reauthorized for another five years,
& $659 million will be provided for programs related to domestic violence.

president obama said he'll sign vawa back into law as soon as possible:
"today's vote will go even further by
continuing to reduce domestic violence,
improving how we treat victims of rape,
& extending protections to native american women &
members of the lgbt community."

amen, brother — & sisters. amen!


image source: inquisitr.com.

malala goes on.

last october, a taliban terrorist
boarded 15yo malala yousafzai's pakistani schoolbus
& shot her in the head
because she spoke publicly about
the right of all children — girls
included — to an education.

malala survived.

& now, she is following through with
her project to create an organization
to get girls worldwide out of domestic labor & into school.

the malala fund has been established
on behalf of malala & her family, &
is working together with supporters —
including the united nations foundation —
to realize malala's vision of education & empowerment
for all girls everywhere.

here's malala her own amazing self, talking about it:



the first grant of the malala fund will provide
a safe educational space for pakistani girls,
resources for a positive learning environment
& an incentive program for families.
following a needs evaluation & final design,
the project is expected to be up & running this spring.

malala survives, she thrives & she continues to give.
you want to give like malala? no gunshot headwound necessary.
just click here.


image source: the malala fund.

revamping the crown.

my favorite headline of 12.4.2012: kate expectations.

yea, verily, the duke & duchess of cambridge are with child.
& it has been confirmed it is only one child & it is due in july.
it has not been confirmed what sex said child is believed to be.

but, regardless of blue-ocity or pink-ishness,
prince william + kate middleton's firstborn will be great britain's future monarch,
thanks to primogeniture recently becoming history.

primogeniture is the ancient rule of royal hierarchy,
which provided male heirs priority over their older female siblings,
permitting them to cut to the front of line of succession.

not only is the british government in the process of
modernizing the laws of succession to ensure trh w+c's
eldest child will become monarch, but queen elizabeth ii
has bestowed the title of "prince" or "princess" to all of the couple's kids.

prior to qe2's decree, if will+kate's firstborn were a girl,
she would receive the underling title of "lady."
now, she will officially be called "princess," & will be third in line
to the british throne, regardless of the arrival of any annoying little brothers.

my fingers are crossed for a xx-er!


image source: queen elizabeth ii & her firstborn, prince charles, ca. 1948, via vanity fair.

women's congress?

the good news about the 113th u.s. congress?
a record number of women — 80 representatives + 20 senators —
were sworn in as members earlier this month
as a result of last november's election.

the bad news about the 113th u.s. congress?
i know, i know — there's a saddening bad-news smorgasbord from which to choose,
but the bad news i'm referring to is that despite the above-mentioned good news,
the violence against women act died.

for the first time in 19 years, the vawa doesn't exist
because the u.s. house of representatives failed to pass its renewal.
house republicans, it seems, didn't want to extend protection to
immigrants, the lgbt community or native americans.

co-written by a democrat & a republican, the vawa targets domestic violence.
& though about 85% of the victims of domestic violence happen to be women,
the law protects across the board, regardless of gender.
it includes measures that:

:: support investigation & prosecution of violent crimes;
:: impose automatic & mandatory restitution on those convicted;
:: permit civil redress in cases prosecutors choose not to persue;
:: provide legal assistance for victims;
:: provide housing assistance for victims;
:: fund family shelters & outreach groups;
:: fund community programs dedicated to fighting violence;
:: educate police about the signs of domestic violence,
how to interpret crime scenes & witness testimony; &
:: help prevent elder abuse.

the vawa was first passed in 1994, & was readily renewed in 2000 & 2005.
here's hoping our more-womanly-than-ever congress
gets 'er done — with protection for all americans —
again here in 2013.


image source: the house women democrats, 1.3.2013, via upi.

are you a fe-man-ist??

a quick little femi-litmus quiz for the boys, courtesy of the frisky
[you might want to imagine your man's answers & ensure he's
the right guy for you]:

sir, you may be a feminist if you . . .

:: are proud and not threatened that your wife, girlfriend or gal pal earns more money than you.

:: wouldn’t dream of having sex with a girl too drunk to consent.

:: are appalled by how many celebrities and professional athletes get away with abusing, sexually assaulting or killing women.

:: even though you believe abortion is wrong, you believe a woman should make decisions about her own body.

:: respect female power and don’t feel threatened by it. [extra points for a Hillary '08 tee]

:: are pretty horrified at the expectation of other dudes that women wax their nether-regions bare.

:: don’t feel the need to qualify people as “a female doctor” or “a female writer.”

:: realize all the glitter nail polish, red lipstick, and stiletto heels in the world doesn’t make a woman dumber than you.

:: pay and promote your employees based on merit — i.e., your female employees can expect to make as much as your male employees — and offer both maternity and paternity leave.

:: love women’s bodies, yet wonder why they are used to sell everything from beer to drano.

:: expect to do as much of the diaper-changing and PBJ-making as the mother of your children because you realize fatherhood is equally as important.

:: tell your buddies to quit it whenever you hear them talk degradingly about women.

:: understand that lesbians were not put on the Earth for “Girls Gone Wild” videos.

:: wouldn’t dream of criticizing a black woman for rocking her natural hair.

:: give as good as you get [sometimes better?] in bed.

:: are open to the evolution of your own gender identity/expression, i.e., you don’t tell yourself or other males “a real man shouldn’t” or “a real man can’t.”


image source: rupaul "foxy lady" doll @ logo tv.

slammin' women.

last month, the universe slid the following video
of poet mindy nettifee performing
"for young women who don't consider themselves feminists"
in the autumn at the west side school for the desperate
across my laptop, & i loved it.

now, i've discovered ms. nettifee is the headliner for
the women of the world poetry slam finals,
being sponsored by austin poetry slam & being held
here in the atx next month.
$5 admission? seriously?? i'll be there.



according to her bio, mindy "believes poetry should
hammer all the nerves & swell the heart & shake the sleeping.
she believes we need it like we need clean air & people to smile at us every once in awhile.
she sincerely hopes that this whole getting-to-do-what-she-loves-for-a-living thing
isn't a fluke. but if it is, well, there's always peaches & bourbon."


image source: austin poetry slam.