happy easter day.

or, as my grandfather, pops, used to exclaim,
happy easter, egg!!

here's hoping yours is full of wholesome smiles,
cute little bunnies & chocolate, chocolate, chocolate.

:)

hard to do.

when people walk away from you,
let them go.

it doesn't mean that they are bad people.
it just means that their part in your story is over.

~ t.d. jakes ~


yeah, i've had my share of breakups.

romantic ones, oh, sure.
but some significant platonic ones, too.
& overall, i've found the latter much harder.

maybe because i feel once you love someone,
you can almost always, eventually, be friends.
because the love was built upon something to begin with, right?

naturally, there are extremes & exceptions.
people who aren't really who they purport to be
while you're falling in love with them, for example.

but in your garden-variety romances —
which seem to be mostly the sort i've had —
i've found my theory holds up fairly well.

of course, with friends —
"just" friends, platonic friends, girlfriends —
you can't break up & still be friends. duh.

of course, it's unusual for friends to experience
an actual breakup — a moment or conversation in which
someone actually recognizes the relationship
no longer works for them & walks away from it.

much more often, it's simply a series of
invitation regrets, unreturned calls, unreplied-to e-messages.

because breaking up is hard to do. from both sides.

i've had a handful of women i considered dear friends
break-up-without-actually-breaking-up with me.
& i think it's that amorphous drift —
without explanation, without definition, without clarity —
that makes it particularly difficult for me.

it's the not knowing —
what i might have done or not done,
what i might have been or not been —
that gets me.

that brings these women to mind again & again.
often not for months or even years,
but inevitably, a reminder triggers thoughts of them
& musings over just what the hell happened.

& once again, i must override my self-centered insecurities [redundant?]
by listening to my sweet wise woman self —

i simply was no longer the person
who could give them what they need or
they were no longer the person
who could provide what i need
in someone we call "friend."

still, for a while, they contributed greatly to my life,
in myriad ways — in beauty, in laughter, in support.
so regardless of why we're no longer friends,
i'm still grateful for our time together,
for the part they played in my story.

i wish them well. i wish them happiness.
i wish them health. i wish them ease.

& i still hold a spot for them in my heart.


image source: pinterest.com.

where i'll be.

i won't be blogging the rest of the week.

last friday, i was chosen as a finalist for ivillage's search
for ten national "everywoman" contributors.

which is thrilling.

now, i've got to put together
a three-minute video

telling all about me,
interviewing someone important to me,
& offering my best "tip" for women/moms
by next friday.

which is frightening beyond belief.

so i'll be writing & coordinating & shooting & editing
& freaking [already there!] for the rest of the week.

meet me here next monday
for a peek at my completed video!


image source: Alex Koplin & David Meiklejohn

the secret of the octogenarian girl sleuth.

it all began with a dime-novel genius who ran a sort of fiction factory.

and a dark-blue convertible.

now, amateur girl sleuth nancy drew is celebrating her 80th anniversary [though she's aged only two years － from 16 to 18 － in the series].

and over the years, her car has also been green, yellow and maroon.

edward stratemeyer of the stratemeyer syndicate created nancy, but died just two weeks following her debut on april 28, 1930, in the secret of the old clock.

his daughters, edna and harriet, stepped up and ran the syndicate for another 52 years.

nancy's author, carolyn keene, was just a pen name for various ghostwriters. the first carolyn keene was mildred wirt benson, who wrote 23 of the first 30 books. harriet stratemeyer adams wrote volumes 31 and 33-56.

since her debut, nancy has solved over 500 cases － but in the classic series [volumes 1-56], never solved murders. over 200 million nancy books have been sold worldwide.

the first 34 volumes were reduced from 25 to 20 chapters, and were revised to omit racial stereotypes.

all three women supreme court justices － sandra day o'connor, ruth bader ginsburg and sonia sotomayor － have noted "daring, intelligent, with tons of initiative" nancy as an early influence.

oh, yeah － and oprah's a fan.

happy happy anniversary to everyone's favorite amateur girl detective, her best friends bess & george, her beau ned and her dog togo － sleuth on, nancy!!


image source: nancy drew sleuth unofficial website

if you want to wear leg warmers, wear leg warmers.

i just can't get enough of kelly corrigan [author of the middle place & her latest, lift].

what a woman. what a writer.
and what a lister.

being a woman, writer & lister my own self, she sure gives me a level of creativity & inspiration to aspire to.

hell, she gives me a level of living to aspire to.
dare me. watch this:



oh, honey, who's looking at you??

extra ordinary days, please.

i recently read a wonderful new york times article about the profundity of the everyday by katherine russell rich, a stage 4 cancer survivor of 17 years & counting.

"when i was told i had a year or two, i didn't want anything one might expect: no blowout trip to the galapagos, no perfect meal at alain ducasse, no defiant red maserati. all i wanted was ordinary life back, for ordinary life, it became utterly clear, is more valuable than anything else."

as we dive into mother's day weekend, my sister mamas, i wish you all the gift of many, many ordinary days, & the presence to revel in & be grateful for them.

got kleenex?? watch this [well worth the sniffles]:

what a wonderful world ... of women.

Monday was the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day. Many countries honor the occasion with a national holiday, including Vietnam, Russia and China. But not here in the good old U-S-of-A, no sir – er, ma’am. Here in America, the best we can do is hold a media event at the White House … which is nothing to sneeze at, I realize, but still, it’s not exactly a national holiday, now, is it? Heck, it’s not even a Hallmark-created holiday.

Lowered expectations, anyone?

Anyway, the State Department commemoration was kind of cool. President Obama and the First Lady welcomed women of the Obama Administration, members of Congress, women’s organization leaders and high-school students to their albino abode. Women working to help women all around the world were honored. And Michelle Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton got all girlfriend-y.

Yes, ‘Chelle and Hill actually managed to make light of the dark 2008 duel between Clinton and Barack for the Democratic presidential nomination. The First Lady briefly stumbled over Clinton’s job title: “Let me thank my dear friend, Senator – Secretary Clinton. I almost said President Clinton,” quipped Mrs. O to laughter and applause.

“But let me thank you for your friendship,” the First Lady continued, “for your support … and for your indispensable advice in getting me through this first year and helping me figure out how to get my family settled in our new life in D.C.”

But the tone of the event turned serious as the President noted the challenges America still faces along the road to gender equality:

“Even as we reflect on the hope of our history, we must also face squarely the reality of the present – a reality marked by unfairness, marked by hardship for too many women in America. The statistics of inequality are all too familiar to us – how women earn just 77 cents for every dollar men make; how one in four women is the victim of domestic violence at some point in her life; how women are more than half the population, but make up only 17% of the seats in Congress, and less than 3% of Fortune 500 CEOs.

“These, and any number of other facts and figures, reflect the fundamental truth that in 2010, full gender equality has not yet been achieved.”

So that's the bad news – a misnomer, since it's not really "news," now, is it? And the good news? The ten amazing women who earned the U.S. State Department's 2010 International Women of Courage Award:

• Dr. Lee Ae-ran of the Republic of Korea, for promoting human rights in North Korea and aiding the refugee community in the Republic of Korea;
• Shukria Asil of Afghanistan, for promoting governmental responsiveness to meet women's needs;
• Androula Henriques of Cyprus, for fighting human trafficking;
• Jansila Majeed of Sri Lanka, for strengthening rights for internally displaced persons;
• Jestina Mukoko of Zimbabwe, for documenting human rights abuses;
• Sister Marie Claude Naddaf of Syria, for working for social services for women;
• Ann Njogu of Kenya, for seeking social transformation and being at the forefront of reforms in Kenya;
• Sonia Pierre of the Dominican Republic, for ending discrimination based upon country of origin and the human rights abuses of statelessness;
• Colonel Shafiqa Quraishi of Afghanistan, for integrating women into the government and police force; and
• Shadi Sadr of Iran, for advocating for women's legal rights and an end to execution by stoning.

Please click on their names and learn more about this extraordinary, global top ten and how each is making a difference in the world for women.

image source: associated press

collect.

oh, october. somewhere, it's harvest season . . . a time to reap, to gather, to collect . . .

collect yourself with a deep breath.

collect your thoughts & turn them loose.

collect funny things your kids say day-to-day.

collect something quirky [chicken pitchers are my weakness].

collect leaves.

collect lists.

collect memorabilia.

collect inspirational quotations.

collect garbage along the roadside.

collect friends old & new for an autumnal feast [remember the gourds!].

she.

The ultimate epitaph ...

She must be something special. She is. Celebrate her.

She loved life and it loved her right back.

She was kind, loving and patient ... with herself.

She discovered she was the one she'd been waiting for.

She woke up one day and threw away all her excuses.

She discovered her real measurements had nothing to do with numbers or statistics.

She realized she was missing a great deal by being sensible.

She went out on a limb, had it break off behind her and discovered she could fly.

She took the leap and built her wings on the way down.

She pursued big dreams rather than small realities.

She turned her can'ts into cans and her dreams into plans.

She ignored people who said it couldn't be done.

She said bye-bye to unhealthy relationships.

She walked in when everyone else walked out.

She decided to enjoy more and endure less.

She had a way of turning obstacles into opportunities.

She saw every ending as a new beginning.

She not only saw a light at the end of the tunnel, she became that light for others.

She ran ahead where there were no paths.

She colored her thoughts with only the brightest hues.

She just had this way of brightening the day.

She added so much beauty to being human.

She made the whole world feel like home.

She decided to start living the life she'd imagined.

She held her head high and looked the world straight in the eye.

She crossed borders recklessly, refusing to recognize limits, saying bonjour and buon giorno as though she owned both France and Italy and the day itself.

She was an artist, and her life was her canvas.

She designed a life she loved.

She listened to her heart above all other voices.

She remained true to herself.

She made the world a better place.


excerpted from She, written by Kobi Yamada, published by Compendium, Inc.
Click here to buy an amazing book for a woman who inspires you.

tell.

A couple of months ago, I suggested you ask － now I'm suggesting September may be a time to tell . . .

tell your story.

tell someone you love them every day.

tell everyone you encounter something you like about them.

tell your kids how awesome they are.

tell somebody you're grateful for/to them.

tell a joke. [My recent favorite: What's brown & sticky? A stick.]

tell them how you really feel.

tell a secret you've been holding for too long.

tell the people in your life how they inspire you.

tell your girlfriend what's amazing about her.

tell the truth.

tell your truth.

do.

ah, austin august . . . we're baking or poaching daily, depending upon the humidity. either way, getting things done is a challenge. time for a reality-based to-do list . . .

do the pool.

do not worry about what you look like in your swimsuit.

do give thanks for Willis Haviland Carrier, who invented modern air conditioning.

do chase down the ice cream truck.

do a movie matinee with your honey.

do commiserate with your compadres in sweat.

do -it-yourself dixie cup + juice popsicles.

do use your windshield sunshade.

do seize a siesta.

do be impressed with Samuel Bert, who introduced the snow cone at the 1919 Texas State Fair.

do the stuff you wanted to do over the summer, but haven't gotten around to yet.

do a raindance.

the summer of 42.

Good birthday yesterday.

Beautiful necklace. Happy pitcher. Sweet sheep.

Tons of well wishes from friends [dozens via Facebook － gotta love it!].

Taquitos breakfast. Home visit by friends w/baby. Jammies until 2p. Got some things done. Disappointing grocery store visit (pharmacy closed, dangit). Tex-Mex supper w/two frozen margaritas [woot!]. Family dancing, bouncing & "bali ball" (Will's iteration of volleyball). Gifts. A little Sunday evening overwhelm. Laundry folding. Brownies.

Good day. Good life.

Monday morning, trying to ramp it up & dial it down at the same time. Trying to organize & roll with it. List list list & que sera sera. Produce & breathe.

It's a delicate balance.

But remember: the tightrope is easier to walk one teensy step at a time.

So be present. Eat the lunch.

Good week, everybody!!  :)

question.

we're in the dog days now － a time to question why it's so dang hot, among other things . . .

ask for help.
ask for what you want.
ask for clarity.
ask what's next.
ask for some space.
ask for a hug.
ask why not.
ask for directions.

ask for a tall, cool drink.

ask for a refill.

go.

it's practically summer － time for travel, far & near.
just for june . . .

go   s  l  o  w.
go outside & play.
go for the flow.
go cool off at the pool.
go for a walk.
go learn something new.
go visit the farmers market.
go shopping with your own bags.
go hide out at the movies.
go spend time with someone who inspires you.
go get quiet & listen.
go, girl.
go just a little bit further.

state salutes sara.

I'm utterly thrilled to announce that the State of Texas has named my magical friend Sara Hickman [photo above by Todd Wolfson] as 2010 Texas State Musician. This is an awesome, well-deserved and well-earned honor for one of the most creative, gifted, giving and amazing women artists I've ever encountered.  YEA, SARA!!  :D

The Texas Commission on the Arts appoints the positions of state musician, state poet laureate, state three-dimensional artist and state two-dimensional artist (a poorly phrased title, from my perspective). The 81st Texas Legislature confirmed the commission's choices for 2009 and 2010 last week. Fellow Austinite Willie Nelson will hold the musical honor this year and pass it along to Sara next year.

According to the commission, appointees are selected for "the exceptional quality of their work and for their outstanding commitment to the arts in Texas." The bill validating the appointments noted that Sara "supports many social causes through her work, and regularly performs and records music for children."

“Texas is home to so many talented artists; this diverse group exemplifies the best of the best,” said Texas Commission on the Arts Executive Director Dr. Gary Gibbs. “This honor rewards these talented Texans for their outstanding artistic achievements, and we are proud to have them represent the state.”

Sara, I love you and am so very proud to call you my friend (regardless of recognition by the Great Lone Star State!)! Happy congratulations!!  :)

between youngest daughters.

My grandmother, Mamie, with her youngest daughter, my Mom. June 1956.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

Thanks for everything [really — everything].

love love,

your youngest daughter, 

Kristen.

free tees go to good homes.

Happy congratulations go to weekend commenters Martha & Suzanne, who get a cute, cool, live inside-out tee, and my thanks for following and responding!!

And a happy, happy Mother's Day to Suzanne, Martha, and all my mama friends and followers . . . Remember, self-care isn't about indulgence; it's about preservation — wishing you some preservational pauses today!!

connect.

we're at the cusp, where spring & summer connect.
just for may . . .

connect with others.
connect with yourself.
connect with your favorite mama.
connect with your body.
connect with music.
connect with your mind.
connect with a child as an individual.
connect with your feelings.
connect with your creativity.
connect with your spirit.
connect with nature.
connect with your pause button.
connect with the moment.

create.

it's spring. a time for creation. a time for creativity.
just for april . . .

create change.
create connection.
create closeness.
create a place just for you.
create opportunity.
create for fun.
create for profit.
create just to create.
create art.
create good.
create happiness.
create peace.
create a life you love.

once in love with amy ...

It's a Tuesday Two-for － I just can't seem to get enough of Amy Poehler, especially now that I've discovered her next big debut project: Smart Girls at the Party.

This month, ON Networks will launch the new original series, created by and starring Poehler and two gal pals: Meredith Walker, former head of talent for Saturday Night Live and senior producer for Nickelodeon's Nick News; and Amy Miles, performer, recording artist and host of PBS children's show LOMAX: Hound of Music.

Smart Girls, according to media materials, "celebrates young girls who are changing the world by being themselves" (how utterly amazing is just that notion??). The show aims to help girls discover confidence in their own hopes and gifts. In every episode, Poehler interviews a girl with a unique talent, community interest or perspective.

All episodes will be available to watch or download exclusively through ON's partners, including iTunes and Adobe Media Player.

Cheer along with the *awesome* trailer here:
http://www.onnetworks.com/company/smart_girls_promo

Here's to the girls who are different!!