breast cancer.

is it just another unfortunate product of aging that
breast cancer seems to be invading my space
with growing frequency??

our odds of contracting breast cancer
rise along with our number of years . . .

according to the national cancer institute,
an american woman's chance is
1 in 233 in her thirties,
1 in 69 in her forties,
1 in 42 in her fifties,
1 in 29 in her sixties,
& 1 in 8 over her lifetime.

so at almost 45yo, i've got a 12.5% chance
of being diagnosed with breast cancer sometime,
but only a 1.45% chance of it happening between now & 50yo.

my cousin faced those same odds up until two weeks ago,
when she was told she has breast cancer.
she began treatment yesterday, with her first chemotherapy session.

she has four kids under twelve,
one of whom is a preschool-age ethiopian orphan boy
her family adopted just last year.

she had a clear mammogram last november.

meanwhile, my dear college friend
just underwent an elective double mastectomy.

she has known for years she carries the breast cancer [brac] gene.
her doctor estimated her lifetime chance of getting the disease
at over 84%.

as she so very logically noted,
"if the weatherman says there's an 84% chance of rain,
then i'm taking an umbrella."

but logic has little to do with going from thirty years as a d-cup
to a flat plain of chest scarred by
two t-shaped incisions where your girls were.

she's got expanders, she's getting implants,
next summer, she'll even tattoo new 2-d nipples
onto her permanently perky reconstruction projects.

& while these women i love do what they can
to beat this insidious disease to the tko punch,
komen for the cure, america's biggest & best-known
breast-cancer organization, showed its ass-for-hire.

komen succumbed to political pressure & announced its intention
to eliminate about $750,000 worth of grants to planned parenthood.

the media pounced. the public denounced.
komen excused, apologized, abandoned & reversed.
which was the right thing to do,
in lieu of having done the right thing to begin with.

the fact is, planned parenthood provides over 770,000 american women
with breast examinations & paid-for mammograms & ultrasounds each year.
women who need & otherwise could not afford to pay for such life-saving services.

i don't know what komen was thinking, but i do know
i'll be thinking long & hard before returning with my family
to the komen austin race for the cure next autumn.

with the support of my wonderful friends & extended family,
i've personally & proudly raised about $2,000 for komen
through my family's participation at the race the past two years.

now, i'm wondering how to best raise funds
for planned parenthood of the texas capital region,
breast cancer resource centers of texas, or
the md anderson cancer center, where my cousin is currently being treated.

they say what you pay attention to grows.
so the last thing i want to pay attention to is breast cancer.

but it seems to keep popping up like some goddamned whack-a-mole from hell.
i guess you just must put down the mallet & walk away,
unless & until one of them chases you — or someone you love — down & attacks.


image source: zena musings.

cure-walkin.'

two days ago,
for the second time,
we walked the austin komen race for the cure.

5K with my family & fellow jazzercisers.

our oak hill jazzercisers walk-for-the-cure team
came together for the first time last year,
spurred by the loss of one of ours --
a dear friend of mine --
following a brutal battle
[is there any other sort?]
with breast cancer.

it took her breasts.
then it took her eyebrows.
then it took her life.

but it never took her spirit.

irmtraud fought to the bitter end, february 2010.

then last summer, one of our instructors
was diagnosed & began treatment.

rosi had completed chemo &
was scheduled to begin radiation the day after
she walked with us a year ago.

it was a long, hard 3.1 miles for her.
followed by a long, hard year.

but she wasn't alone.

here she is during the last leg of last year's walk,
getting a little help from oak hill jazzercise owner,
fearless leader & fabulous friend, grace.

breast cancer has sadly touched so many lives . . .
do you know anyone who doesn't know someone
who has suffered from this dread disease?

yeah. me, neither.

but it seems for every story of surrender
there's a story of survival.

happily, that was rosi's story this year.
here are she & grace again, at the 2011 walk.

what difference a year makes, huh?

blessedly, she's in full recovery &
we're all praying she stays there,

for next year's walk
& many more to come.

or for the cure & ensuing celebration,
whenever it comes.

*

a huge shout-out to
my amazingly generous family & friends,
who contributed $1,080 to support us & the cause.
i owe you. & you awe me.
thank you!!!!

four more days.

four more days
until i turn forty-four.

& while today's forty is young
relative to our parents' forty,
our bodies often don't seem to know the difference.

over the past year, my hormonal cycles have
become annoyingly inconsistent.
my silver stragglers have invited many friends
to the party at the crown of my hairline.
& i've put on enough weight —
especially around the mid-section —
to return me to weight watchers
[the day after my birthday, naturally].

going into my mid-forties,
i'm finally beginning to accept the fact that
i. am. aging.

& i'll be honest: it's not awesome.
but it is still better than the alternative.

here's what my girl ms. o knows for sure
about growing older — mantra-worthy, as ever:

people who lie about their age
are denying the truth & contributing to a sickness
pervading our society — the sickness of
wanting to be what you're not.

denial leads to delusion.

i know for sure that only by owning
who & what you are can you
step into the fullness of life.

every year should teach you something valuable;
whether you get the lesson is up to you.
every year brings you closer to
expressing your whole & healed self.

i celebrate that. honor it. hold it in reverence.
& i'm grateful for every age i'm blessed to become.


image source: pinterest.

no numbing allowed.

ok, so the irony here is
i'm writing this while watching
a dvr'd episode of glee.

nevertheless, thanks to a online course i'm in,
i'm thinking about
activities that numb.

things we do that distract us
from the real stuff of life.

things like
google.
text.
tweet.
update status.
check email.
real housewives.
desperate housewives.
drive through.
caffeination.
tap apps.
shop-n-drop.
overschedule.

you get the idea.
& i bet you know the drill.
i know i do.

so i've begun to un-numb
one extremely important
slice of my life.

food.

full disclosure:
i tend to eat too much of
the wrong sort of food
for the wrong reasons.

i heart sweet stuff.
en masse.

i eat from boredom.
i eat for comfort.
i eat to settle myself down.
i eat to wake myself up.

wow － sounding a little like a pill-popper there.
yikes.

just plain hungry & just plain full －
not starving, not stuffed －
are feelings i have trouble identifying.

so. i've begun to un-numb around food.

i'm journaling everything i eat.
i'm drinking more water.
i'm eating less [normal portions].
i'm eating slower [savoring speed].

i'm doing none of the above perfectly.
i'm not sure i will ever do any of the above perfectly.
but i'm trying. & i'll keep on trying.

& i'm feeling better － lighter － already.
& lighter is good. & better is good.
& feeling is really, really good.

so, how are you wanting/willing/ready
to un-numb your life today?? do share.


image source: a smart mouth.

a good excuse, er, reason to raise a glass.

here's a little scientific something
to drink to
this new year's eve:

according to a recent norwegian study
of over 5,000 people,
moderate wine consumption
[a minimum of four glasses over two weeks]
improves brain function.

this study & more than 50 others
have shown teetotalers are
at greater risk for dementia.

researchers suspect it may be
because wine contains antioxidants
called polyphenols, which can
decrease inflammation &
increase blood flow to the brain.

do you think it still works
if you drink all four glasses
at the same time? hmmm . . .

well, regardless . . . cheers!


image source: free-extras.com

pink prevention.

a final think pink entry:
from dr. oz's ultimate guide
to preventing breast cancer.


1. get a routine mammogram.
pay no attention to the media debate;
studies show mammograms reduce breast-cancer
death rates by an average of 30%.


2. eat for breast health.
foods proven to help protect you from breast cancer
include green tea, olive oil, garlic,
cruciferous veggies, seaweed & tumeric.


3. get your d on.
ample vitamin d can help reduce breast-cancer
risk by half. eat salmon, sardines & dairy,
& soak up 15-20 minutes of sunshine daily.


4. fight inflammation.
take two aspirin or ibuprofen a week
to reduce your risk of breast cancer by about 25%.


image source: belladerm medspa

we can walk. & we did.

we walked for the cure
& against breast cancer
today.

the komen race for the cure
works rather hard to feel like a party.
& part of it is a well-deserved
celebration for survivors.

& it was fun to be one wave
among a sea of pink,
flowing between shores of
cheerleaders & water-offerers & mascots.

but part of it is a well-deserved
memorial for the ones who didn't survive.

& it was touching & wrenching to see the
"i walk in memory of" signs
safety-pinned to so, so many t-shirts.

a man walking in memory of his wife.

a group where every member
was wearing three or four signs.

a young mother with kids alongside,
wearing the bright pink tee
that indicates she herself is
a survivor, with a sign on her back
that reads "mom."

our whole little family walked
with my jazzercise team.
lucky 13 of us in all,
including 2 longtime survivors,
& 1 fresh from chemo,
beginning six weeks of radiation
tomorrow morning.

& we missed our fellow jazzerciser
& dear friend irmtraud,
& talked about her fierce will to live
& how she fought tooth & nail
to the very, very end last february.

& my kids walked beside me,
one holding each hand,
for much of the 3.1 miles.

& i felt proud.
& i felt joyful.
& i felt mournful.
& i felt worried.
& i felt blessed.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

a huge shout-out to
my amazingly generous family & friends,
who gave $600 to support me & the cause.
above & beyond, as ever.
thank you.


image source: rosi & grace, our oak hill jazzercise team － via me.

pink postscript.

i didn't want to lump a breast-cancer message
together with my latest, rather vitriolic post.

so here's my think pink item du jour:


breast cancer action, the self-proclaimed
"watchdog of the breast-cancer movement,"
wants you to beware of pinkwashers.


[pinkwasher: (pink’-wah-sher) noun.
a company that purports to care about breast cancer
by promoting a pink-ribboned product, but
that manufactures products linked to the disease.]


think before you pink™, a breast cancer action
program, launched in 2002 in response to
a growing concern about the booming pink-ribbon marketplace.


the campaign advocates for
more transparency & accountability by companies
participating in breast-cancer fundraising,
& more questioning & discernment by consumers
buying into pink-ribbon promotions.


seriously fascinating stuff.


click here for the five essential questions
you should ask before you purchase pink.




image source: usatoday.com

think pink.

ok, so rather than my typical "celebrate the everyday"
wacky-holidays-of-the-month post for the first,
i'm honoring this month － national breast-cancer awareness month －
by reminding you, dear readers, throughout the month to

think pink.

your first-&-foremost reminder: the in-the-pink color change of my blog!
isn't it just so la-vie-en-rose? [love that edith piaf torch song.]

at the close of my every october post, i'll include an item
intended to bring to mind for a moment what women are
"celebrating" all month long －
healthy breasts, if you've got 'em;
your good health, if you've got it; or
still being here, just as you are.

so, in addition to my new girly colorway,
here's a little friday fun for you ...
definitely pink. definitely girly.
definitely breast-friendly.

drift away for a couple of minutes with munchkin mila,
& have a wonderful weekend!!




image source: dorkmuffin.com

four simple goals.

inspiring idea today from
elsie flannigan's a beautiful mess blog . . .

with one-third of the year left to go, establish
four simple goals to aim for before 2011.

elsie's "rules" for the 4sg:

1. choose simple goals that will make your life richer & happier on a daily basis. choose things you might not otherwise get done, but which aren't difficult to achieve.

2. don't choose result-oriented goals; choose activity-oriented goals. for example, rather than "lose ten pounds," choose something like "eat fresh fruits and vegetables every day." see what i'm saying? positive actions rather than just end result!

3. choose goals that are personal, that you believe will truly make your life richer just by doing them! they can be daily, weekly or one-time experiences.

4. choose a reward for every goal as you achieve it! it can be a small or large reward.

ok, so my four are:

1. drink a pitcher of water every day.
2. get outside － a half-hour or more five days a week.
3. do yoga － @ home with video or a class, one or more times a week.
4. put creative time on the calendar － & honor it!!

how about you? what are your four simple goals for the rest of 2010?
let's share & cheer & celebrate each others' good intentions & successes!!


image source: isavo.com

the wall, comma, hitting it.

two weeks ago today, i hit the wall.


i spent much of may playing at being everything to everybody

except for me.

thought i'd just power through.


even though we teach our children

actions have consequences －

good choices beget good ones,

bad begets bad －

thought i'd just power through.


powered at high speed smack into the rock-solid wall.

scary, utterly debilitating, blinding migraine.

24 hours down for the count.

tko.


note to self:

next time you're amped waaay up

& think you'll just power through,

pause ...

pause & remember the rest of the story:

i'll just power through

& i will pay.

i'll just power through &

i. will. pay.


to observe the two-week anniversary

of may 2010's wall hit & what i learned,

i will now
go to bed.


nighty-night.


image source: boby dimitrov

as seth & amy might say, *really*??!?

if you're a mom, then there are 27 countries where it's better for you to live than the united states.

27.

really??

greece, italy, ireland, iceland, bosnia, croatia, herzegovina, slovakia, the baltic states, latvia, lithuania, montenegro, singapore.

all better spots to be a mom than the u.s., according to save the children's 11th annual mothers' index.

really!? really.

so how did the u.s. of a rank so low?

1. one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the developed world － 1 in 4,800 women dying of pregnancy-related causes.

2. an above-average under-five mortality rate － 8 in 1,000 births.

3. one of the lowest preschool enrollment rates in the developed world.

4. the stingiest maternity-leave policy, in terms of both time and money, among wealthy nations worldwide.

really??!?

the very best places to be a mom? norway, australia, iceland, sweden, denmark, new zealand, finland, the netherlands, belgium & germany.

norway's women are well-paid, have easy access to contraception, & are provided with one of the world's most generous maternity-leave policies.

the very worst? equatorial guinea, eritrea, sudan, mali, congo, yemen, guinea-bissau, chad, niger & afghanistan.

afghanistan has high infant mortality, low female life expectancy, & the world's worst primary education rate for girls.

another great reason to be grateful i'm not an afghan woman.

but 28th, america? really??!?


image source: gil hanson

healthy children, healthy world.

happy 40th birthday, earth day!!

yes, earth day has been around since 1970. but despite our hybrids & our single-stream recycling bins & our solar-powered rechargers, earth day isn't really about us mid-lifers.

it's about our kids.

for while we all want a cleaner, greener place to live now, what we're really working for is a better future for our planet & the people who will live on it then. our children.

healthy child healthy world definitely shares this goal, but comes at it a little differently.

hchw's angle is, if we don't get green now, then our children might not live to enjoy that improved future.

healthy child healthy world is a nonprofit organization inspiring grownups to create healthy environments for families.

according to hchw, over 125 million americans － especially the young ones － are experiencing a historic high in chronic diseases like cancer, autism, adhd, asthma, birth defects, & developmental/learning disabilities.

and scientific evidence indicates environmental hazards & household chemicals may well be causing & contributing to this tragically unwell trend.

so healthy child healthy world educates parents, supports protective policies, & engages communities to make responsible decisions, simple everyday choices, & smart lifestyle improvements.

for healthier children. & a healthier world.

for my family, i'm undertaking hchw's 5 easy steps, with the goal of completing them all by next april 22nd.

and i'll be using hchw's impressive shopping lists of healthy, safe, nontoxic, green products & services － from clothing to groceries to pesticides － to become a more conscious consumer.

so, what are you willing to do to help health-ify your kids & the world over the next year?? please share.

and have a great earth day. :)

life lesson from fgotus to flotus.

When it comes to ensuring your own happiness, First Grandmother Of The United States Marian Robinson was a good example for her daughter, Michelle Obama － of what not to do.

"She said being a good mother isn't all about sacrificing," says the First Lady. "It's really investing and putting yourself higher up on your priority list." Obama says Mrs. Robinson put her own two children first, sometimes to her own detriment.

"She encouraged me not to do that," says Obama.

The First Lady says women should do what makes them happy, because if mama is happy, then everybody's happy.

"I've learned to make choices that make me happy," says Obama. "I've freed myself to put me on the priority list and say, 'Yes, I can make choices that make me happy, and it will ripple and benefit my kids, my husband and my physical health. That's hard for women to own. We're not taught to do that, but it's a lesson I want to teach my girls."


image source: comite des amis lyonnais de barack obama

one of O's favorite things: empowering women.

I heart Oprah. No big surprise there.

Her famous "Favorite Things" lists are hit-or-miss for me. Some of the stuff she/her staff suggests is adorable and affordable, some not, some OMG sooo not.

Regardless, at the beginning of December － the start of stuff season － Ms. O dedicated her show to dramatically disenfranchised women worldwide. Women beaten for trying to go to school, girls sold into sex slavery, mothers dying as a product of pregnancy. Women for whom the term "women's rights" is just an imaginary figment, a cruel joke.

Naturally, Oprah also profiled people who are helping. Secretary of State Hilary Clinton pledging women's rights will be one of her signature issues and a higher-than-ever American diplomacy priority. Husband-wife Pulitzer Prize winners Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn talking about their new book, Half the Sky: Turning Oppression in to Opportunity for Women Worldwide, and the movement it has created.

So here's the bottom line: It's the season of giving. Please give to empower women and girls globally.

Here's how:

• Buy the above-mentioned book. It's "a passionate call to arms, from two of our most fiercely moral voices, against our era’s most pervasive human rights violation."

• Give to Helen Keller International, which iodizes salt so that babies born to impoverished women get enough of the brain-developing element.

• Give to American Assistance for Cambodia, which helps keep girls stay in school and out of brothels.

• Give to Mercy Corps, which facilitates microloans to poor women to launch their own businesses, support their families and boost their economies.

• Read through these fascinating facts about girls in developing countries, then check out the Girl Effect Facebook page and become a fan.

Still iffy? Consider this: While American women earn 80 cents on the male dollar [unfair, for sure], more girls in developing countries have been killed in the last fifty years－ just because they were girls － than men were killed in all the wars of the 20th century.

Help a girl stay above-ground today. Give to empower women.

austin hearts leslie.

If you're not from Austin, then you might not get our community's genuine affection for our local "Keep Austin Weird" mascot, a homeless-by-choice, cross-dressing, former mayoral candidate named Leslie.

But Austin loves Leslie － in large part because Leslie loveslovesloves Austin.

Which is why I've found myself praying daily for his complete recovery. Albert "Leslie" Cochran, 58, suffered serious head trauma about two weeks ago (EMS was called when he fell down in front of a taxi, and while the news coverage is clear about head injury, I've read that he had a brain aneurysm which caused him to fall and that he hit his head when he fell, so the nature of the trauma is unclear), had brain surgery to relieve cranial swelling, and for several days was not expected to survive.

Now, he has been upgraded to "fair" condition, but is apparently rather vegetative, with limited hope of full recovery. His sister, Alice Cochran Masterson, says Leslie will likely require assisted living arrangements for the rest of his life, and probably won't ever be able to return to his home out on the streets again.

Which is a huge loss for downtown Austin, where Leslie hung out － both on the street and from his infamous thongs. He was smart, irreverent, hilarious, as eccentric as they come, big-hearted and, in his way, inspirational. Who among us can honestly claim to be as authentically ourselves as Leslie was 24/7/365?

So please say a little prayer for Austin's Queen of Weird-Ass Soul. Our sidewalks will be dimmer without him.

Click here for an interesting piece about how Leslie came to be Leslie.

you are beautiful.

You are beautiful. What is it about those three little words that makes it almost impossible for us to accept them graciously?

At best, we squirm uncomfortably. At worst, we not only disbelieve it on the inside, but we reject it on the outside, too.

Oh, no. I'm not. My sister, now she's beautiful. Or Christie Brinkley, she's super beautiful. Or Meryl Streep, she's got a certain je ne sais quoi beauty about her. But me? No, no. I'm OK, I guess. But I wouldn't say I'm beautiful.

Luckily, plenty of other people would.

Enter Operation Beautiful.

Around the beginning of the summer, Caitlin Boyle, a 25-year-old urban planner from Orlando, FL, stuck a yellow Post-It note up on the mirror of her doctor's office women's restroom. It read, 'You are beautiful.'

Caitlin photographed it and blogged about it, requesting her readers to do the same thing. Post-It. Mirror. Beautiful.

Two days later, based upon the dozens of photographs of Post-Its she was already receiving, Caitlin launched OperationBeautiful.com, where she posts the photographs of notes women send her.

They read 'You are beautiful,' 'You're amazing, just the way you are,' 'You are enough,' 'Smile － you are more than your weight, or 'Your butt looks terrific in that outfit.'

They're being posted on diet books, food and drug products in stores, on gym lockers, under windshield wipers, and on doctors' scales.

Boyle says she is dumbfounded by the huge response Operation Beautiful has gotten.

"To me, it's crazy," she says. "but when people participate, they realize they're not just helping a stranger feel better; they feel better, too."

So, what will your note say today, and where will you put it??

are you there, Harvard? it's me, Rwanda.

We've all been waylaid by the occasional miseries of menstruation. But in the USA, fear of spreading a menstrual mess isn't one of them, thanks to the big business known as feminine hygiene.

But in developing countries like Rwanda, for example, where sanitary supplies are scarce and steeply priced, women are left to use rags, mud or bark to stem their flow as best they can, and often must miss school or work days due to their period.

Harvard Business School recently selected its first-ever Social Entrepreneurship Fellow, Elizabeth Scharpf, a 2007 HBS grad working to deliver minimally priced maxi pads to developing countries. Scharpf will use the $25,000 grant to help launch Sustainable Health Enterprises (SHE), beginning in Rwanda. SHE is developing a sanitary pad from local materials, which will cost about 30% less than brands currently available. Local women will manufacture and market the pads, and eventually will own the business themselves through microfinance loans.

Scharpf's brainchild will not only stem the bleeding for Rwandan girls and women, but also create local jobs, promote sustainable agriculture and help open up a dialogue about sexual health. No cramp in her style.

Now, maybe Harvard can work on eradicating its hideous patriarchal mascot.

she's so fine at 49.

I've always liked Valerie Bertinelli. As younger sister Barbara, she was my favorite on the One Day At a Time (I was a younger sister, too). I thought it was cute how she and Eddie Van Halen had matching hairstyles (I married a musician, too). She sort of lost me with the whole naming her son Wolfgang thing (I like Mozart as much as the next person, but come on), but she got me back a couple of years ago when she put her weight issues out there and began her partnership with Jenny Craig (I went the Weight Watchers route, but still, we both lost the lbs.).

So I've always related to my pal Val, at some parallel-universe kind of level. But with her latest project, Valerie has graduated to a level I'd love to relate to, but I'm a little too wowed just now to put a plan together.

Valerie will turn 49 on April 23rd, and to celebrate, she engaged a personal trainer and subsequently posed in a bikini for the latest cover of People magazine. And she's slammin!'

So the way I see it, I've got seven years to further step up and pare down. And meanwhile, I propose renaming it the Berti-kini.

how's your state for happiness??

Not your state of happiness, but your state for happiness － according to the Well-Being Index, a continuing daily survey of Americans' overall well-being, which just released its rankings by state (and Congressional district, for nit-pickers) for the past year.

The top ten included Utah, Hawai'i, Wyoming, Colorado, Minnesota, Maryland, Washington, Massachusetts, California and Arizona.

The bottom ten included Louisiana, Michigan, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Missouri, Indiana, Arkansas, Ohio, Mississippi, Kentucky and West Virginia.

The Well-Being Index is a 25-year partnership between Gallup, Healthways and America's Health Insurance Plans that began conducting daily surveys of 1,000 Americans for 350 days a year in January 2008. The survey is made up of 42 core questions based upon six indices of well-being: life evaluation, emotional health, physical health, healthy behavior, work environment and basic access (to necessities).

Overall, the highest well-being scores tended to come from Western states, while Southern states tended to contribute the lowest scores.

Even though money can't buy happiness directly, some of the variations among states and Congressional districts definitely trended along income levels.