a day ago.

i was adopted basically at birth.
i didn't know my birthmom until i was 25,
when she & my birthdad found me.

i had her in my life for only fifteen years.
she died abruptly three years ago
when she fell in her kitchen,
hitting her head on the tile floor.
she died of traumatic brain injury within three days.

she was extraordinary,
& not one day goes by i don't wish
that she were still here or
that i had made more of our time together.

i especially loved
her boundless generosity,
her amazing thoughtfulness
& her smokey laugh.

i used to be careful
to celebrate birthmother's day with her
[the saturday prior to mother's day sunday],
as actual mother's day belonged
to my real mom who brought me up.

i regret that now.

i regret it because
it is not a competition,
more family just means more love,
& both of these wonderful women
made huge sacrifices to help me become
who i am today.

so this mother's day,
along with honoring my real mom
with gifts & cards & calls,

i honored my birthmom
in my heart [& now, on this blog]
for everything she gave me.


love & miss you
yesterday, today & every day,
nana pat.


image source: big girl & nana pat, circa 2000, as photographed by me.