Tuesday, September 29, 2009

ten tips for lifelong connection.

A list to print and tuck into your wallet from the Slow Family Living blog. Co-blogger Bernadette Noll outlines the big life lesson she learned from her mom - how to make pausing and connecting more than a great idea, how to take it beyond the theoretical:

It is possible, if we put the pieces in place now: the rituals, the practices, the conversations, the pauses, the all-important SEEING of each other - it is possible to build a sustainable connection. Quite possible indeed.

Here are a few of the very tangible things [my 84-year-old mom] did and continues to do in the name of connection:

1. Write letters, send postcards every chance you get. Keep stamps in your wallet so that whenever you think of someone, you can jot them a quick note.

2. Talk it through.

3. Say sorry. Even when you’re not really sure what you’re sorry for. Be sorry there was strife. In the name of peace and love.

4. Forgive. And forget. And move on.

5. Give people a second chance. More if they’re family. And if they’re your children, give them endless chances.

6. Ask people questions about themselves. Your family and friends, and also people you meet on the street. Whether you’re at the grocery counter or the bank or the gas station, talk to people about their life.

7. Listen to the answers.

8. Make the connection when you think of making the connection. When you think of calling someone, call them right then.

9. Have extra beds for guests. Or cots. Or sleeping bags. And lots and lots of blankets.

10. If you have to choose between order and quiet or mess and noise, go for the mess and noise. It might make you a little crazy, but there’s plenty of time for order and quiet when you get old.

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