To be honest, I'm struggling with feeling thankful today. I woke up — on the couch downstairs, having surrendered our bed to my incessantly and deafeningly snoring husband around 4a — feeling like I had been run over by a dumptruck, feeling like a bad mom, an outsider in my own family, someone who's good for providing meals and laundry and a clean countertop and that's about it. I feel like I could disappear and would be missed only when they ran out of groceries, clean clothes and stuff from Target. I feel like I spend much of my family time either actually being the "bad cop" or being reinforced as being the "bad cop" ... and frankly, who wants to hang around with the bad cop? I mean, who can blame them?
Wow ... since there's only one side of a couch to wake up on, I guess I can't claim I woke up on the 'wrong' side of it, but that side was definitely dominated by a big ol' pool of self-pity with plenty of room for wallowing. I realize that, I recognize that, but I still don't feel better.
So here's my feeble attempt to force better feelings — my top ten list:
1. puffs plus tissues w/lotion (terrible for cleaning glasses, but terrific for allergy attacks and crying jags)
2. good foundation makeup (fabulous for fewer than four hours of sleep and crying jags)
3. new eyeglasses (fun, and also good for camouflaging lack of sleep and weeping)
4. windy days
5. clean bathrooms
6. health professionals you trust
7. do-overs
8. build-a-bear birthday parties
9. having a son with a strong immune system
10. having a hobby that is a fail-proof path to feeling better (especially effective when you've got time to do it, which of course I don't for the foreseeable future)
Please post your gratitudes and let me live vicariously through your good life until mine feels all better again. :]
Monday, February 25, 2008
monday afternoon gratitudes.
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2 comments:
Awww Kristen... sorry you're having an off day. I've felt like that since Friday when I broke my toe. I ended up going to boot camp tonight, but I hate not being able to do what everyone else is doing. Plus - hobbling around and moving slower means more for Mark to do. I hate that!!
I hope you're feeling better now though.
Gratitudes:
1) one good foot.
2) 9 other working toes
3) glad my kids like many kinds of fruit - if not vegetables
4) Frosted Strawberry Delight Mini-Wheats
5) Food journals for keeping me responsible
6) Water
7) Warm weather
8) A weed-free front flower bed (after spending most of Sunday morning working in it)
9) Scrapbook stores
10) Getting praise for my layouts on Two Peas in a Bucket.
Oh, bless your heart! I'm so glad I know you well enough to know that this was a passing moment. And that I get to read your blog and chuckle at all your cleverness. Here are some of my gratefuls:
1. New glasses too! A total gift from the Universe (and Lenscrafters, who gave me the Universe's credit.)
2. New meds for a loved one that are bringing her back to herself.
3. New headshots by Julia Amaze-o Heart.
4. New chairs in the family room.
Hey, this is a lot of new stuff. Isn't there anything old that I appreciate? Indeed!
5. My 44-year-old body that has recently lost a little weight and is very healthy to boot.
6. My work.
7. Clients I love and who love me back.
8. Good friends.
9. Choosing not to read the book for book club and honoring my own decision.
10. Best kids ever and two pretty cool kitties.
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