a day worth celebrating.

ten days ago, doris mary ann kappelhoff – aka doris day – celebrated her 90th birthday.

i heart doris – her delightful singing, her sunshiney ways,
her support of the gay community & her serious dedication to animals.

so in honor of doris' induction as a nonagenarian,
here are ten tidbits you might not have known about her
[one for every decade to date, plus one in hopes of her reaching 100yo!]:

:: she danced first. as a teen, doris teamed up with jerry doherty to perform locally in her hometown of cincinnati as a dancing duo. but a 1937 car accident injured her legs & stunted her future as a pro dancer.

:: while recovering, she discovered a talent she didn't know she had. "during this long, boring period, i used to while away a lot of time listening to the radio, sometimes singing along ... . but the one radio voice i listened to above others belonged to ella fitzgerald. there was a quality to her voice that fascinated me, and i'd sing along with her, trying to catch the subtle ways she shaded her voice, the casual yet clean way she sang the words."

:: her first job as a professional singer was in a local cincinnati restaurant, the charlie yee's shanghai inn.

:: in 1939, she adopted the stage surname "day" while working for barney rapp, at his suggestion. rapp felt "kappelhoff" was too long for marquees, & he enjoyed her rendition of the song day after day.

:: in 1953, she won the oscar for best original song –– secret love from her starring role in calamity jane.

:: she feels her best film was 1955's love me or leave me, a bio pic about singer ruth etting.

:: during the 1956 filming of the man who knew too much, she became concerned about alfred hitchcock's lack of direction. doris asked hitch about her performance; he answered, "if you weren't doing what i liked, you'd know." at the movie's premiere, hitchcock was asked how he got such a great performance from her; he answered, "it wasn't me; it was doris."

:: among her myriad accolades: member of the ohio women's hall of fame [1981]; cecile b. demille award for career achievement [1989]; presidential medal of freedom for entertainment achievement & her work for animals [2004]; hit parade hall of fame [2007]; grammy for lifetime achievement in music [2008]; first legend award ever presented by the society of singers [2010]; grammy hall of fame awards for recordings of sentimental journey [1998], secret love [1999], & que sera, sera [2012].

:: she's been married four times: to trombonist al jorden [1941-43; they had her only child, son terry]; to saxophonist george weidler [1946-49]; to producer martin melcher [1951-68]; & to maitre d' barry comden [1976-81].

:: she actively lobbied congress on several occasions for support of legislation designed to safeguard animals, & in 1995, she originated the annual event spay day usa.

happy happy birthday, ms. day – wishing you many, many more! :)

a concious coupling . . .

of adele dazeem + screaming goats. you're welcome.

unequal pay = cray cray.

today, two days beyond [un]equal pay day, musician pharrell williams of "happy" fame
sat with one of my personal heroes, ellen degeneres, & talked about
why he named his latest album "G I R L".

the predictable reason? he likes women. well, duh.
the not-as-expected reason? he's fed up with gender inequality.

"still to this day, what is it – like 73 cents to a man’s dollar?
what is that?
the last i heard, the whole reason this entire species can come into existence
is through the portal of a woman’s body."

ok, who loves pharrell? mmhmm – raise those hands up high, ladies.

seriously, it's 2014. are we really still debating
the appropriateness of equal pay for equal work?

yes. yes, we are.

because these, ladies & gentlemen – & especially the gentlemen:
heads up, please – are the facts:

:: women must work about 60 extra days to earn
as much as men did by the previous year's end.

:: the pay gap – women's 77 cents to every man's dollar – hasn't improved since 2002.

:: at our current pace of progress, we can expect pay equity around 2058.

:: the average american woman loses $431,000 over the course
of her career due to the pay gap.

:: the u.s. is ranked #23 globally in terms of gender equality
[which includes pay equity]. burundi is #22.

:: thanks to u.s. senate republicans, the paycheck fairness act is still not law.

as president obama says in response to those who claim pay equity is a "non-issue,"
"it's not a myth. it's math."

& it's not a women's issue, either. it's an issue about the american family.
because how many working women are working mothers, their paychecks going
to help house, feed, clothe, keep healthy, educate & otherwise support their children,
who, incidentally, will be the future of our country? most of them.

again, the inspirational president of these united states:

"the time has passed for us to recognize that
what determines success should not be our gender,
but rather our talent, our drive & the strength of our contributions.
so, today, let us breathe new life into our founding ideals.
let us march toward a day when, in the land of liberty & opportunity,
there are no limits on our daughters' dreams &
no glass ceilings on the value of their work."

amen, mr. president. you & pharrell go get 'em.


p.s. my new mantra: my body is a portal of life.

love s'more.

last month, honey maid began airing an awesome commercial celebrating
the diversity of families, the blessed blindness of love & what wholesome really means.

haters hated, like they do.

honey maid responded with perfection.
authentic, beautiful, creative, meaningful perfection.

just watch – while i go add "honey maid graham crackers" to my weekly shopping list.

god woke up.

& he was groggy
so he got a nice cup of coffee
& went to site
under an apple tree.
he sat there
drinking his coffee,
listening to the birds,
when all of a sudden
it hit him.
he was happy.
god was happy!
& he wished there
was just someone to see it.
he'd gotten such a bad rap
all these years
for being pissed off
all the time.
& he really wasn't.
maybe a little cranky.
but here he was,
happy.
mellow yellow.
the birds were singing
& he was at peace.
buddha told him it
could be this way,
but he'd never really
believed it until now.
life really was easier,
sitting under a tree.

~ cynthia rylant ~

happy national poetry month, everyone!
here's hoping it's as happy as god with a cup of coffee under a tree.


image via desktop nexus.

call me point b.

if i should have a daughter, instead of “mom,” she’s going to call me, “point b.”
because that way, she knows that no matter what happens,
at least she can always find her way to me.

& i’m going to paint the solar systems on the backs of her hands, so she has to learn
the entire universe before she can say, “oh, i know that like the back of my hand.”
& she’s going to learn that this life will hit you, hard, in the face,
wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach.
but getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs
how much they like the taste of air.

there is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by bandaids or poetry,
so the first time she realizes that wonder woman isn’t coming,
i’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself.
because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers,
your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal.
believe me, i’ve tried.

“and baby,” i’ll tell her, “don’t keep your nose up in the air like that.
i know that trick. i’ve done it a million times. you’re just smelling for smoke
so you can follow the trail back to a burning house, so you can find the boy
who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. or else, find the boy
who lit the fire in the first place, to see if you can change him.”
but i know she will anyway, so instead, i’ll always keep an extra supply
of chocolate & rainboots nearby.
because there’s no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix.

okay, there’s a few heartbreaks that chocolate can’t fix.
but that’s what the rainboots are for. because rain will wash away everything if you let it.

i want her to look at the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat.
to look through a microscope at the galaxies that exist on the pinpoint of a human mind.
because that’s the way my mom taught me. that there’ll be days like this,
“there’ll be days like this,” my mama said.
when you open your hands to catch & wind up with only blisters & bruises.
when you step out of the phone booth & try to fly,
& the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape.
when your boots will fill with rain, & you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment,
& those are the very days you have all the more reason to say, “thank you.”
because there’s nothing more beautiful
than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline,
no matter how many times it’s sent away.

you will put the “wind” in “winsome… lose some.”
you will put the “star” in “starting over… & over…”
& no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute,
be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

& yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting, i am pretty damn naive.
but i want her to know that this world is made out of sugar.
it can crumble so easily, but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out & taste it.

“baby,” i’ll tell her, “remember, your mama is a worrier, & your papa is a warrior,
& you are the girl with small hands & big eyes who never stops asking for more.
remember that good things come in threes, & so do bad things,
& always apologize when you’ve done something wrong.
but don’t you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining.
your voice is small, but don’t ever stop singing.
& when they finally hand you heartache, when they slip war & hatred under your door
& offer you handouts on street corners of cynicism & defeat,
you tell them that they really
ought to meet your mother.”


sarah kay is a spoken word poet – half-japanese, half-jewish, all new york. & 100% amazing.

this performance was the opener of her talk at the 2011 ted conference.
click here for the whole talk
[it's only about 20 minutes & includes another poem performance.]

happy birthday, ms.

happy happy birthday to my fellow feminist + writer, ms. gloria steinem.

she turns 80yo today, & i must say, if this is what being an octogenarian
looks like, then i'm happy to be over halfway there!

she is spending her birthday riding elephants in botswana.
seriously – isn't that how we all want to spend our 80th?

inspirational as ever, ms. s.
cheers to you – keep on keepin' on!

"the truth will set you free,
but first it will piss you off."

"i have yet to hear a man ask for advice
on how to combine marriage and a career."

"writing is the only thing that, when i do it,
i don't feel i should be doing something else."

"like art, revolutions come from
combining what exists into
what has never existed before."

"we've begun to raise daughters more like sons;
but few have the courage to raise our sons
more like our daughters."

"i'm keeping my torch, thank you –
& i am using it to light the torches of others."

"the future depends entirely on
what each of us does every day;
a movement is only people moving.
to feel its warmth and motion around us
is the end as well as the means."

"a feminist is anyone who recognizes
the equality and full humanity
of women and men."