what's your formerly??

so, what's your formerly?

what's a formerly, you wonder?

it's just what you used to be
once you've reached the intersection of
too old to be young & too young to be old.

which is where stephanie dolgoff & so many of us seem to be.

stephanie, a contributing editor at parenting magazine, launched a blog － formerlyhot.com － that has turned into a book － my formerly hot life: dispatches from just the other side of young [coming in august] － & is quickly becoming a movement. observe:


even though stephanie used the rather cliched "hot" umbrella for her blog/book/movement's identity, she's quick to note that this "formerly transformation" is only partly about looks:

"[T]he shift was much more profound.

And wonderful. The longer I spent on this side of young, the clearer it became that Formerly Territory was a much happier place to live, for me and the hundreds of women I spoke to about it. There are distinct upsides to being a Formerly, ones that no one talks about. I used to feel like a composite of other people’s opinions of me; now, I am comfortable with who I am, and other people’s opinions are, well, just their opinions. I follow my instincts, what’s comfortable for me, rather than what I think I 'should' do or what everyone else seems to think is the move. Life feel less intense, less dramatic, more relaxed and peaceful. In other words, time passes. Things change. And that’s cool.

Except when it’s not. Getting older, even if you’re not old, can sometimes suck! I’m not going to tell you that I welcome every wrinkle and pucker as a symbol of the rich and wise life my trusty body and I have lived happily together. I am regularly shocked by the new iteration of me that stares back from the mirror. I promise never to tell you that you must 'embrace your life changes,' that 50 is the new 40 is the new 30 is the new 29. You are what you are, but you don’t always have to be smiling about it.

On balance, though, even as I’m letting go of the stuff I thought was indispensable to happiness when I was younger, I’m happier than my younger self ever could have imagined."

so, what's your formerly??


image source: smh.au.com

mantras to declutter by.

maybe you've heard tell of lorie marrero,
our own austin-based professional organizer
who has hit the big-time with her brainchild,
the clutter diet.

she's terrific － visit her website here, her blog here & her twitter page here.

recently, lorie posted about "the organized mindset: 7 fundamental beliefs that can change everything."

being a person who's forever interested in enhancing organization in my rather full life, i read the post.

& let me tell you, it's about way more than decluttering.

lorie says these key beliefs can up your quality of life, & i believe her.

i, for one, intend to write one down on an index card every month for the rest of the year, tape it up on my bathroom mirror, & repeat it daily as a mantra to myself.

i strongly urge to you dive into this wise woman's deep pool of online info.
here's just a toe-dip － the seven aforementioned beliefs:

1. It’s okay to let go. I cannot own everything, do everything, or know everything. I will be okay letting go of some things, some activities, and some knowledge. I have an abundant life, and I have Enough with a capital “E.” I have to give up some things to gain others.

2. It’s okay if things are not perfect. I can relax into life and focus on what is most important to me. I am clear on what really matters, and “Good Enough” is really good enough.

3. It’s okay for me to place a high value on my time. Time is absolutely my most valuable resource. I am the only one who gets to ultimately decide how to spend it, and it’s okay to be very selective and discerning. Sometimes time is worth more than money.

4. It’s okay to make mistakes. I make the best decisions I can at the time with the information I have. I will move forward with my decisions and reduce the time I spend questioning them. Mistakes help me learn beneficial lessons.

5. It’s okay to want the best for myself. I am fully responsible for my own life experience. I treat myself kindly, and I want to constantly improve myself, my life, my surroundings, and my relationships. Sometimes this means saying goodbye to things, people, activities, interests, and commitments that are no longer serving me.

6. It’s okay if I don’t have all of the answers. I am strong and capable and can figure things out. I value learning and am a resourceful person, and I am open to being wrong.

7. It’s okay that I am not good at everything. I am good at many things but not all. I can focus on my strengths and ask for help to allow others to use their strengths on my behalf.

thank you, ms. marrero!! :)


image source: photo not of lorie marrero, but by brene brown for tracey clark's i am enough self-kindness collaborative

oh, sandy.

it happened ten days ago, but i can't let it go unmentioned.

in the bizarro world of hollywood celebrity, imploding or exploding lives are everyday, garden-variety happenings.

lying. cheating. addiction. exhibitionism. petty crime. murder. what-have-you, they've got it.

it's a veritable smorgasbord of bad behavior. bad choices exacerbated by bad handling.

so when a star deals with such a situation with
grace & humor & actual good decision-making,
it's so incredibly rare, you've just got to applaud it.

as ever, i heart sandra bullock.

she finally emerged from her months-long self-imposed exile －

following her husband's highly public emotional gunning down
with a nazi-sympathizing skank as his weapon of choice

－ for her first public appearance, at the spike tv guys choice awards.

she received the troops choice entertainer of the year award,
voted on by members of the u.s. military.

she looked stunning in a fitted black leather dress, cartier jewels & flowing locks.

& she behaved even better than she looked.
if you haven't seen her acceptance speech, you should:


her courageous self-deprecating humor,
her graciousness & grace,
her gratitude & groundedness & prioritization.
her beauty, inside & out.

color me awed.
amazing is the best revenge.


image source: huffington post

a saucy southern belle worth remembering.

my husband & i saw her in person on broadway,
portraying madame morrible, the horrific headmistress
in "wicked" in 1995.

her stage name was rue mcclanahan,
but naturally i thought upon seeing her listed in the program
"ooo － blanche devereaux. cool!"

because blanche －
the sassy sex kitten of the sitcom "the golden girls" －
was rue's defining role.

born with the incredibly oklahoman name
eddi-rue, in healdton, ok,
rue graduated with honors & a degree in german & theatre arts
from the university of tulsa.

she did stage work & soap operas until
she landed her first significant television role
in 1972 as best friend vivian on "maude."

in 1983, she played aunt fran on "mama's family," but
was lured away from the show for a new pilot
about four older women living together as florida roommates.

"the golden girls" ran from 1985 to 1992.
rue was the youngest of the key characters －
sardonic dorothy, daft rose & comically candid sophia.

rue won a best actress emmy for her work as blanche in 1987.

post-"gg," she was featured in many movies, tv programs & stage productions,
including her year as madame morrible.

she survived breast cancer in 1997,
& underwent heart-bypass surgery last year.

rue was a lover of animals.
she was one of the first celebrity supporters
of people for the ethical treatment of animals [peta].

& echoing her alter-ego blanche, rue was a lover of men.
she was married six times.
but upon her death at 76 from a stroke earlier this month,
she left only one child, a son by her first husband,
and her husband since 1997, morrow wilson.

r.i.p., rue.

the wall, comma, hitting it.

two weeks ago today, i hit the wall.


i spent much of may playing at being everything to everybody

except for me.

thought i'd just power through.


even though we teach our children

actions have consequences －

good choices beget good ones,

bad begets bad －

thought i'd just power through.


powered at high speed smack into the rock-solid wall.

scary, utterly debilitating, blinding migraine.

24 hours down for the count.

tko.


note to self:

next time you're amped waaay up

& think you'll just power through,

pause ...

pause & remember the rest of the story:

i'll just power through

& i will pay.

i'll just power through &

i. will. pay.


to observe the two-week anniversary

of may 2010's wall hit & what i learned,

i will now
go to bed.


nighty-night.


image source: boby dimitrov

simple.

my one little word for how i want to be for june: simple.

ok, i'm never going to be simple. duh.

but i want a simple season.

i want 2010 to be the summer of simple.

simple schedule.

simple activities.

simple pleasures.

simple fun.

farmers market.

swimming pool.

container gardening.

crafts with kids.

cooking with kids.

front yard games.

front porch time.

evening walks.

hanging with friends.

hanging with family.

a little work.

a lot of play.

some travel.

mostly home.

back to basics.

less is more.

new jack johnson album.

ah, summertime.


image source: La Photographie Nashville

celebrate the everyday － june.

i'm a little slow splashing into summer ...
but slow is what summertime's all about.

for me.

for now.


it's june, 2010. how will you celebrate being a woman?

june 8 － world oceans day
maybe honor it with a moment of silence?

june 12 － loving day
celebrate the right to wed whomever we love.

june 17 － recess at work day
i don't know why we ever quit having recess ...
or three months of summer vacation.

june 21 － summer solstice
the longest day, from 6:28 a.m. to 8:26 p.m. CDT.
hello, summer!!

june 23 － let it go day
just for today, why not?

june 25 － take your dog to work day
i'm blessed to get to celebrate this every day,
& it makes a [positive] difference!!

june 26 － full moon [the strawberry moon]
or maybe the firefly moon? click through to help
rename the full moons of 2010 ...


remember, where there is connection, there is power.
where there is power, there is hope for change. for ourselves, & for our world.
we are all connected. we are all powerful.

until my next post, be well, be happy & be hopeful.


image source: ffffound!